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What Those F*ckboy Texts Really Mean

They’re persistent, misleading, insensitive and pretty much just want one thing from you.

If you haven’t encountered a f*ckboy in your life yet, please tell us your secret, and if you have, you know the struggle is real. Whether or not you’ve had to deal with them, here are a couple of decoded texts to hopefully help you out:

1. When he drunk-texts you

Decoded: “I want to hook up with you as soon as possible. I also need you to know I’m pretty drunk.”

If he only asks you to hang out when he’s drunk, definitely a f*ckboy. Proceed with caution.

2. When he’s taking it ~day by day~

Decoded: “Yeah, I could be down to hang one night but I’m not going to make any definite plans because that shows too much commitment for me.”

If a guy is clearly trying to avoid making specific plans with you, he’s probably a f*ckboy. Making plans involves some type of commitment, something he is definitely not about.

3. When he responds 8 hours later. Every single time.

Decoded: “I’m trying to seem casual and non-relationship worthy, so I can’t have a normal texting conversation with you.”

Sometimes a guy is actually just busy when he doesn’t respond for a long time, but sometimes, when it happens every time, he’s a f*ckboy. He’s making it very clear he’s looking for nothing serious.

4. When he texts you after midnight

Decoded: “I’m most likely drunk, lonely or bored and really want to have sex with you.”

Also known as the classic, “U up?” text, sent around 2:00 a.m. Basically, he’s not looking to start a interesting conversation with you.

5. When he “compliments” you

Decoded: “I just want to hookup with you. This is the best compliment you’re gonna get from me. Did it work…?”

You know, those half-assed compliments many f*ckboys often give, like “I’m super drunk but ur cute af tbh.” Is that supposed to make me feel good, or…? If a guy texts you a compliment like this, chances are he’s a f*ckboy and this is probably the most effort he’s going to give to impress you.

6. When he wants to cuddle…

Decoded: “I really just want an excuse to touch your butt.”

All right, maybe some guys are actually into cuddling, but if he texts you this along with some of the other messages here, there’s a high chance he has some ~other~ motives in mind.

We hope these decoded texts help. Good luck, ladies!

Gabby is a fourth-year Marketing and Statistics student at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. She's currently the Marketing & PR Director for HCCP, as well as a writer and editor. Her passions include consuming unhealthy amounts of coffee, idealizing her life on Pinterest, and all things breakfast-related.
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