Let me preface this article by stating I have been in two long distance relationships. Now you may be thinking to yourself, “Wow this girl cannot make them stay.” I won’t argue with you. Since April, my current significant other has lived 750 miles away. I believe his move has a lot to with the fact I frequently forget to wear deodorant. Regardless, my advice on the subject of long distance relationships is adequate, as I have experienced both a great and a not so great one. (Hint: the relationship I am in now is the great one.) So all of you sad folks counting down the days until you are reunited with your partner gather round and listen up!
1) Communicate is key, but it does not need to be constant.
Texting your partner sporadically throughout the day is wonderful to stay connected. However, try your hardest to not be obsessive. If your partner does not respond within a number of hours, you may become paranoid and want to bombard them with phone calls or messages asking where they are, what they are doing, etc. Refrain from doing this. It is sign of an unhealthy relationship and your partner will feel smothered. My best advice is to be patient and trust your partner.
Further, I would suggest speaking to your significant other on the phone or on FaceTime at least once a week. I know of couples that manage to talk every night but this is not do-able in my own relationship. My partner is in graduate school and I don’t have much free time between finishing up my undergraduate, working 20 hours a week, and spending my nights roaming the neighbor in search for cats to pet. I wish I were kidding.
2) FaceTime is your friend.
Nothing is more reassuring as seeing a lagging, pixelated version of your beloved. While it may be tempting to make a drinking game of how many times FaceTime cuts out, I would advise against it as you will get alcohol poisoning. In all seriousness, it is lovely to see the face of your favorite person even if it is in low resolution.
3) Be okay with being alone.
I’m possibly too okay with being alone. My natural state is watching The X-Files on Netflix surrounded by yogurt containers while wearing fleece sweatpants I have had since I was seven. (I was a husky second grader). Missing your partner is expected, but don’t let it ruin your life. Spend time your friends. Read books. Watch The X-Files. Roam the neighborhood in search for cats to pet. It works for me.
4) Send gifts.
We live in a materialistic society so the best way to tell someone you love them is through gifts and gifts alone. Just kidding. Well, mostly kidding. That being said, sending a small gift such as your partner’s favorite candy is a sweet (pun intended) and much appreciated way to show you are thinking of them.
5) Put things in perspective.
You will get to see your partner again. Even if you’re separated for months, time moves quickly. Also, you are with someone who thinks you’re worth the wait. Most people don’t have that. So instead of being sad, be smug. Quick someone put that on a shirt.