Since I was eight years old, it’s always been me, my brothers and my mom. At this stage in my life, there were a lot of moving parts, new directions and uncertainty. My parents had just gotten a divorce at a time when I was trying to navigate my childhood. Through it all, my mom was a beacon of light guiding me and my siblings through this era of our lives. As I’ve grown up, I’ve come to realize that I’ve learned several things from this sometimes-crazy, full-of-love, beautiful lady that I call my mother.
1. Stick Up For Yourself, Even When It’s Tough.
In sixth grade, I came home crying after having a serious fight with one of my best friends. Immediately, my mom showed so much concern and comfort as she questioned the tears running down my face. After telling her what had happened that day in the school yard, her face turned serious.
“Leah, you have to stick up for yourself. Don’t back down. Stay strong,” she told me. She encouraged me to sit down with my friend and explain how her actions had made me feel. My mom always urged honesty and transparency, while acknowledging how difficult those conversations can be.
From a young age, I’ve always seen my mother as a powerful force. Whether it was telling a waiter my order was wrong, having a difficult conversation with a friend or standing up to a bully, my mom always encouraged me to handle these situations appropriately. She urges kindness and understanding, but also the grit to stick up for myself.
2. Red Nail Polish Will Never Go Out of Style
Firetruck, crimson, tomato or scarlet—every shade of red has lived at the tips of my mother’s fingers. If you ask her, she’ll tell you that red simply goes with everything, but in reality, it’s just her favorite color.
Since I was a little girl, sitting beside her at the nail salon and watching her nails being painted that signature bright red, I couldn’t help but admire her. I’ve come to realize it was more than just a color; it was a symbol of who she is: powerful, fierce and fearless. The bold statement of her nails mirrors my mother—unapologetic and uniquely herself.
Even now, when I sit down to do my nails, I find myself always reaching for that familiar shade of red.
3. There’s Beauty In Change.
To say that my mom has experienced a great deal of change in her life is an understatement. From divorce and moving houses to changing jobs, she has always found the positives in everything. This mindset has always been a part of my life. When things get tough, she’s always the one to find the bright side, even when it seems impossible to see.
When I experienced my first heartbreak, my mother told me, “You never know what will come from this.” Seventeen-year-old me was heavily annoyed by this statement, not wanting to experience the changes to come. However, I’ve come to realize just how right she was.
I went on to meet amazing people and grow tremendously from that experience. I became a different, yet better, version of myself after the breakup. In reflection, I began to understand that there is beauty in heartbreak, as it opens the door to new beginnings.
Whether it was my brief emo phase, the end of friendships or romantic relationships, or experimenting with a new hair color, my mom has always been supportive of change. Her unwavering belief in the value of change is a lesson that will stay with me as I navigate the rest of my life. As she would say, “There is so much beauty in the way the seasons change.”
4. Hard Work Will Get You Far.
From being a stay-at-home mom to becoming a top-producing realtor, my mom has always been a professional in hard work. Being a single mother of three is challenging enough, but balancing that with a full-time job makes it even harder.
After her divorce, she started at the very bottom of the real estate chain, working as an assistant to a top-producing realtor. Eventually, she spent countless hours studying to get her license so she could sell houses on her own. I remember seeing her in the stands at my softball games, studying her book, and the joy on her face when she opened the letter confirming she had passed the exam. She then built up her business, made connections and became one of the top-producing realtors in her company.
This is one of the most admirable traits of my mother, something I’ve easily adopted into my life. I worked hard in school, sports and relationships. Consistently, my mother proves to be the hardest-working person I know.
5. ’80s Movies and Songs Are Arguably The Best.
Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, and Sixteen Candles were staple movies constantly playing on our TV when I was a kid. My mom could seamlessly recite every line and deliver every joke, and I would laugh along as I watched her.
On Friday nights, we would curl up on the couch with popcorn and red licorice in hand, ready to start the next ’80s movie on our list. To this day, those nostalgic films still rank among my favorites.
When we weren’t watching movies, bands like The Cure and Tears for Fears would fill the house. She would grab my hands and pull me into the living room, dancing and singing off-key, completely immersed in the music.
Even now, whenever I hear “Pictures of You” by The Cure, I can’t help but think of my mom.
6. Sometimes All You Need Is Your Mom.
Moving to college was one of the toughest moments in my life when it came to my relationship with my mom. She’s my best friend and biggest supporter. The lack of her presence was an adjustment, and I often found myself wishing she were there with me.
As I embarked on a new adventure, I leaned heavily on the lessons she had taught me. I still call her between classes, send her funny TikToks and FaceTime her to share the new SLO sights I discover.
Yet when final exams feel overwhelming, the dining hall food becomes repetitive or I simply start missing home, nothing feels better than driving back for the weekend. Blasting ‘80s music on the way, with freshly painted red nails, I’ve come to realize that when life gets tough, all I really need is my mom.