Firefighting and motherhood – two roles that might seem worlds apart. From my perspective, however, they have always been intricately intertwined. Since the age of 7, I grew up admiring Laura Martello, my third parent and hero. I met her as a fierce female firefighter who was undeniably kind and creative. She swept into my life as a firefighter would: she saved my life in an emergency. Not so much a physical one, but an emotional one. At the peak of my parents’ divorce, she became the guide, mentor, and friend I needed most. She somehow learned to shape herself into a mother, father, and sister figure depending upon the crisis I was in.
Now, as my college career comes to an end, I’ve found myself worrying about the uncertainties of adult life, especially as a woman. Feeling directionless, I decided to turn to Laura once again; I wanted to learn more about her never-ending role as a first responder both at work and at home. Her mind seems to be in a constant state of survival mode, always prepared to find solutions of expediency for her own (and others’) problems.
I began our conversation with a question that had been on my mind: “What does the term ‘first responder’ mean to you?” I asked with genuine curiosity.
Her answer was simple but profound: “A first responder is the first person on scene to mitigate a problem – and that problem can be anything.”
This moment struck me. I finally saw how her two identities—firefighter and mother—intersect through a shared theme: urgency. This is a key concept to motherhood that I feel is often overlooked. A mother is always expected to be the first to respond to a crisis, while other family members are not obligated to feel the strain of being in a constant state of urgency.
Laura further explained the expectations for first responders in her career: “Any conundrum [where] a human being is like, ‘I don’t know what to do with this’… we get called.” Oddly enough, her elaboration reminded me of what I’ve observed as the expectations of motherhood.
I offered another question: “So, how has your job prepared you for your role as a mother?”
Surprisingly, she replied by admitting that she “may have created [her role as the first responder in her family] because a lot of first responders pride themselves in service… they feel fulfilled by being needed.”
She returned to the idea of a “conundrum” to describe the impact her roles have on her own well-being: “it feeds me what I need, but it also depletes me of what I have.”
Despite the challenges, Laura has learned to anchor herself in gratitude. She acknowledges that, while both work and home life are demanding, they also offer meaning and purpose. She’s realized that “over time there’s no problem too big that you can’t figure out. You may have to dig deeper; you may have to get more creative; or, you may have to ask for help. But in the end, there is always a solution to any problem.”
As I reflect on our conversation, I now understand that Laura’s story is not only about firefighting or motherhood – it is about the resilience that comes from embracing multiple responsibilities at the same time and refusing to sacrifice the life you want despite its challenges. Her wisdom reminds me that uncertainty and struggle do not signal failure in a woman’s life, but bring opportunities to prove her courage and creativity. Although I am bound to forget these sentiments sometimes, I am extremely lucky to have Laura in my life to remind me that I can become the best version of myself.