For years I played the game.
I played the game of hopelessly waiting for texts, followed by acting with just the right amount of excitement if they arrived. I waited to open Snapchats and made sure the lighting in my replies was flattering, but not too much that he could tell I was trying that hard. I dressed up for him just enough that I felt good about myself, yet still wished my stomach was as flat as that of the girl he was flirting with right in front of me—even though I knew it was just to make me jealous.
I even told myself I didn’t care that he was hooking up with other girls or that he would talk about my body with his “bros,” because when he was with me he said it meant something. So it was okay. The game was fun, the chase kept me interested and, if I am being completely honest, I wasn’t looking for anything serious anyways—so I was happy, right?
Wrong.
The truth is, no one wins the game. We both toyed with each other’s feelings and never acted real with each other—an issue that is all too common in today’s world of modern dating. It seems to me as though we aren’t supposed to care about anything when dating today. You aren’t supposed to be too eager but you still have to stroke your interest’s ego just enough. You are supposed to be fun, but not too fun… constantly walking the line between slut, tease or prude.
It took me a long time realize that not only is this not okay, but furthermore it’s not how you are supposed to feel when you are dating someone. Self-conscious, confused and unworthy are all the opposite of what a healthy relationship is, and these are all feelings that anyone playing this “dating game” is all-too familiar with.
An honest and real relationship will make you feel wanted. You will feel sexy and flawless because your insecurities will not only be accepted, but they will be loved. You won’t feel like you constantly have to be perfect, look unattainably perfect and act in the most attractive way possible. You will feel confident in your actions and in your relationship which that person, whatever it may be. You will feel like a priority, rather than an after thought.
And most importantly, it will be easy… in the best way.
It will be effortless, like being with your best friend. All the insecurities surrounded by constantly mulling over whether the feelings are real or you’re just being used will disappear. Dating is not easy…dating is hard. But, without all of the games, questioning and over-analyzing of your situation with a want-to-be significant other, having a healthy relationship is completely attainable.