Love is a lot of things.
It’s coming home after a long day and noticing your roommate cleaned the dishes you left in the sink after a rushed, hectic morning.
It’s your best friend picking you up just to drive around aimlessly and listen to music.
It’s your mom making herself a snack, but making a little extra because she knows you’ll want some too.
Love is a lot of things, and by now, most of us have probably encountered numerous ways to give and receive love, otherwise known as a love language.
Love languages originated from Gary Chapman, who is the author of the popular 1992 book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. There are many love languages, but Chapman mentions five that are foundational:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
The discourse surrounding love languages has flooded social media, but so much of it has been dominated by couples in romantic relationships.
If we know love extends far beyond romantic partners, then why do we so often reduce expressive love to exclude our friends, family, animals, or community? Or even strangers?
Our loved ones deserve to be showered in hugs, kind words, and small gifts of appreciation. We have so much love to give, and we don’t have to wait around for a significant other to share it.
Small acts of appreciation can require minimal effort and can be tailored to your friend, family member, or anyone else in your life.
Here are some things you can do for someone depending on your love language:
- Words of affirmation: send a text telling them how much you appreciate and love them, be extra encouraging when they tell you good news, leave them small notes, give them nicknames, or write them letters.
- Acts of service: make them dinner, offer to help them with simple tasks, and in general just be helpful (but not overbearing).
- Receiving gifts: make them a personalized Spotify playlist, surprise them with their favorite drink, or pick them flowers or other small plants to show you’re thinking of them.
- Quality time: make time in your schedule for them, be in the moment with them, plan a day out, or make hanging out a regular thing that fits into everyone’s schedule.
- Physical touch: physical touch is not everyone’s thing, so make you always have consent. But, if they appreciate it, hugs, cuddles, and just general contact to let them know that you’re there for them.
No matter how you decide to express your love language to your besties, don’t make it a one-time thing. Frequent dates, compliments, gifts, favors, and hugs are for everyone, even yourself.
Try to spend some time in the near future to show the ones you love how much you love them.