The hookup culture has its own language, just ask Urban Dictionary. However, as it happens, many of its pertaining words are gender-inflammatory. Gender equality has increased since the 1920s waves of women suffrage. Women can vote, own property, join the military, maintain careers… However, a pungent, lingering trace of gender inequality lives in the bedroom, on the couch, and the floor (or wherever).
Everyday phrases, such as “We banged” or “I nailed her” are just that- common, way too common. Have you ever actually considered these words in a non-sexual context? Merriam Webster defines “bang” as to strike sharply (ouch!), “pound” as to hit (something or someone) with force again and again (Ahhh!) and “slam” as to hit something with a lot of force (Oh my!).
As a lady, and I assume I speak for many, I declare that I do not wish to be banged, pounded or slammed! While only the most literal and hermit-crab like of people would interpret “I slammed her” as physically striking a woman, these words do belong to truer, longer-standing original definitions which precede their descent into the slippery, nauseatingly prejudiced black hole of a slum that is sexual slang.
According to Urban Dictionary, all three of these contextually gender- inflammatory words refer to something like “forceful intercourse.” This usage would be jolly, dandy, gender-neutral and merely derogatory if both sexes used the same language. However, the fact that mostly men use synonyms such as “nail” and “slam” distances the two genders, leaving males grinning demeaningly from up on high horses at females down in the mud. Have you ever heard a woman say, “I just nailed him on the couch!” or “We slammed this morning after a hearty breakfast?” I most certainly have not! Mostly men use this degrading language.
If you think quite literally about these particular words, one will come upon inflammatory implications. Since males are typically the “pounders” and the “bangers,” that denotes females as the “poundees” and “bangees.” Males perform the action, and females receive. Females submit to the actions of the males. This seems like an eerily parasitic relationship in which one subject steals and benefits from the other, who suffers. Ladies, is this what we like?
Once again, when people use this terminology, most do not mean to patronize or distance the equality gap. But these words have other meanings! They have specific meanings for which they were created and to which they will always be bonded, however on the subject of synonyms, why woman-degrading ones? If sex is such an essential part of everyday, casual conversation, why not opt for upbeat, delightful synonyms, like “We ate chocolate together in a tent under the stars,” or “We flowered by the sensual glow of the tea lights” ?
Please consider the implications of such language and the repercussions of waiting too long to demand better. I fear that such inequality is like a mosquito sneaking into our relationships and interactions- women have a limited amount of time to pinch it before it has sucked all equality, self-esteem and intra-gender respect. Pinch the parasite.