Whoever coined the phrase ‘opposites attract’ never stepped foot in my dorm room. Like many other first years I decided to choose a random roommate. At the time, I was feeling adventurous, like I was leaving my new best friend up to fate. My excited, high school self had no idea what was to come .
At first, I loved having a party obsessed roommate. She always knew where the best parties were, always got me on the list and was fun to be around during my initial ‘my parents finally dropped me off, I’m free’ phase. Unfortunately, our party romance quickly came to an end. Within weeks of living together, I realized partying was all she cared about, and her party habits went from fun to interfering with my sleep and study schedule.
When my roommate first began skipping classes and assignments because of partying, it was a very toxic environment because she made it seem like a normal and okay thing. I found myself thinking it was okay to save assignments until the last minute or cram for an exam because I was scared of missing out, so I would go out anyway against my better judgment.
If you’re in a similar situation, here are some things I have learned to make sure your roommates’ party schedule doesn’t interfere with your priorities.
1. Set some ground rules
Have a conversation with your roommate and make it clear that during the week you are studying and sleeping and can’t take care of them when they are under the influence. Go over each other’s schedules and set certain days of the week and times when it’s okay to come back loud and other times when they need to be quiet and keep the lights off.
2. Remind yourself of your priorities
Don’t let the lifestyle of those around you change the way that you spend your time in college. Set aside time during the week to have fun, but also set aside time dedicated to homework and studying and stick to it.
3. Find other ways to have fun
Invite your friends or roommate to dinner, a movie night or any activity not focused on partying to show them other ways to have fun.
4. Understand that your roommate doesn’t have to be your best friend
Before starting college, I really wanted to be close friends with my roommate and that led me to always go out with her and live her lifestyle. You don’t need to do everything with your roommate, use this opportunity to meet new people and try new things.
5. Tell your roommate that you are concerned about their habits
If your roommate situation is not getting better, you should sit down with them and voice your concern for their health and well being. Suggest taking a break from partying or seeking professional help to maintain a healthy balance in their life. If their behavior continues, you can also talk to your resident advisor.
6. Take care of yourself
It is really important to understand that while you need to be supportive of the people in your life, your own health and happiness comes first. Find ways to get out of your room and spend time doing things that make you happy.
If you are having problems, try using these techniques to make sure you can maintain your personal space while living with a party obsessed roommate.