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Life > Experiences

How to Deal With Not Having a Set Friend Group Right Away

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Cal Poly chapter.

College, especially on film and TV, is portrayed as  a magical place where you will enjoy all the classes and fit perfectly into a friend group that you’ll keep for life. However, in reality, college also has difficult classes and you may not find a friend group right away. On the quarter system, classes go by so quickly that with the stress of keeping up with your classes, it can be challenging to form lasting relationships. If you feel like you’re the only one missing out on fast friends during the first quarter, please realize that you are not alone and there are plenty of people on campus that go through the same thing. 

Although making friends and meeting new people is never easy, there are things you can do during your first year to help you meet more people and find your forever friends. 

 

Introduce yourself to your classmates, roommates and floormates

You have the potential to make friends all over campus. In your residence hall you have your roommates, floormates and those in your WOW group. When you are in your room try to leave your door open so you can introduce yourself to the other people on your floor. The more people you talk to, the greater chance you’ll have of finding someone you connect with, which could lead to a friendship. In classes, strike up a conversation with people who sit around you. If you hit it off, you can even invite them to study or get food outside of class. The quick turnaround between quarters can make maintaining friendships tough, so making friends with classmates in your major increases the likelihood that you’ll see them in the following quarters.

Join clubs

Joining clubs is another way to open yourself up and start meeting new people whether it be  inside your area of study or not. Many colleges offer clubs that tie into their majors, so check out what clubs are offered for your major. You can meet some like minded people that you may not have met in class. Outside of your major, there are plenty of other clubs that follow many different interests, so there’s bound to be one that you’ll enjoy.

Breathe and realize you’re gonna be okay

College is a scary new transition in life and it’s okay to be nervous about how you’re going to meet new people. Even if it takes a few quarters longer than you may expect, you will find people to enjoy your college experience with. Take a few deep breathes every once in a while, and keep trying. 

There are so many opportunities to try something new and go out of your comfort zone. If you’ve tried the techniques in the list above and you still can’t seem to find your place, just keep putting yourself out there, friends seem to come from the most unlikely places.

I am a fourth year English major at Cal Poly. I love reading as many books as I can, and it's rare to catch me without one. When I'm not reading, I'm scrolling through social media or hanging out with friends.