Picture this: You wake up on Sunday morning, well refreshed after a relaxing Saturday night of just you, pizza and Netflix. You feel happy and content with how the night went and go to check your phone. And then, bam! No more happy morning for you. All you see on Facebook are photos of some of your good friends all at a party that you didn’t even know about. Instagram is the same way: pictures of your friends all having a good time, posing in front of some fraternity letters. Then finally, you check your snaps from Snapchat. No surprises there, they’re all from the same friends and from the same event. Multiple thoughts swirl around your mind. “How could they not invite me?” or “Did they forget about me?” The feeling of exclusion and insecurity takes over your whole mood and your happy morning vanishes.
What is FOMO?
FOMO stands for Fear Of Missing Out. Many or all college students will experience FOMO, whether they are aware of it or not. In a survey that I created and conducted, 74 percent of the respondents felt the presence of FOMO in their lives.
McCall Stone, a child development freshman said, “The Majority of people have this fear because they want to fit in and have this need to be accepted. It’s a natural human reaction to be severely disappointed if [you are] not invited to an event or gathering.”
In another response to a survey I posted to various groups on Facebook, an anonymous responder replied, “I hate that I always get FOMO, I wish I didn’t care so much.”
However, as college students surrounded by others who are in the know and alert about school events, it seems hard NOT to care that you’re not at that event that all your friends went to.
Some people criticize FOMO’s existence. Yasi Agah, sociology major comments, “I think it’s really overrated—not everyone can do everything.”
Grace Moon, an architecture freshman, also believes FOMO is “relatable but also shallow.”
“People need to understand that just because one posted photo of a certain event does not mean they were as happy or emotional as they seemed in the image,” she said.
Whatever your take on this concept, it still affects many college students.
How can FOMO affect you?
From my survey results, the overall effect of FOMO was negative. Several students expressed the resentment that they felt when they let FOMO take over their academic lives.
As Morgan Smith-Beock, a microbiology freshman , said, “It can be a struggle for many freshman. So far I’ve been able to manage my time well and go to all the events I want to but for those who have it less easy it’s different. I think [FOMO] can interfere with academics easily.”
College is a time to figure out the rest of your life, so naturally one would want to take academics seriously and know when not to go out if there’s a lot of work to do. However, many students may not make the right decision in fear of missing out on an event.
FOMO can also still be felt even in the days after the event.
Edna Siljdedich, a political science freshman, said, “Sometimes it just sucks when you see how much fun all your friends are having without you, and you just know it’s all they’ll talk about the next day.”
As if not being there with your friends was bad enough, now you’ll have to hear about how awesome it was and how much fun you could have been having. Many anonymous responders claimed that FOMO stresses them out due to always checking their social medias in fear that something is going on with someone close.
How to Deal with FOMO
Obviously, FOMO is not a good feeling to have. Luckily there are ways to avoid it and take some of the weight of the fear of missing out off of your shoulders.
Realize You Cannot Do Everything (School comes first!)
Yes, collegiettes. You CANNOT attend every event or join every club. Even though college is a time to experience many things, it does not mean try to do everything.
Alexis Brownstone, a mechanical engineer sophomore said, “We have to realize that college is a place where we learn what to do and what to avoid while we are on our own and those include deciding how to spend our weekends.”
Remember that college is for studying and getting a career for a bright future. If you have to miss out on a party because of a project or term paper that is okay! You should not feel pressured to go out just because everyone else is. As hard as it may be when you see those pictures posted on social media, remind yourself that you are in charge of your own life and if that means missing out a little here and there won’t define your experiences later on.
Realize Your Friends’ Probably Didn’t Mean It
This is hard sometimes, especially if friends who you consider close to you, go out and you don’t even get an invite. It is alright to feel maybe betrayed, upset, sad, and even jealous.
However, as McCall Stone has realized, “If a friend is going to do something and they don’t necessarily ask you, it doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t want you to go, he or she probably just didn’t even realize to ask.”
Don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that you are forgotten by your friends. This simply means your friends are human. Although this may be a struggle if they are closer to you, try not to let FOMO overtake you. Take action on your part next time if you know an event is coming up. Ask to tag along, and because you guys are friends, they will gladly let you!
What you See Isn’t Really How It is
According to my survey, 52 percent of respondents post what is happening in their lives over social media. These images include, but are not limited to, group pictures with friends, selfies, poses with fraternity letters and maybe even drunk incidents. It is understandable to feel FOMO when you know much fun those parties look. But what you see on social medias is just what people want you to see.
Grace Moon explains, “A picture is a glimpse, not a summary, of a story or an event that occurred.”
Moon also comments that people are always wondering if their social lives are on the same or higher level as those around them. The pictures you see on Facebook or Instagram are merely posted for people to show the world that indeed they do go out, but not as often as you think. Social media can create a facade, so do not take posts you see so much to heart.