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7 Things You Probably Shouldn’t Talk About at Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving can be a stressful time. (More like a stuff-full, am I right? Get it, like the stuffing typically served at Thanksgiving dinners? And, and most people are stuffed after they eat Thanksgiving dinner? This joke works on two levels. Gosh, am I a riot!) You’re surrounded by family members you haven’t seen in awhile and making small talk can sometimes be painful. I don’t know about you guys, but when I get asked very basic questions about my life, I panic and even reveal parts about myself most people wished I didn’t share. To help everyone out during this festive time, here are a list of topics that might be better to not bring up during Thanksgiving dinner.

Try to refrain from talking about:

1) Your growing collection of erotic fan fiction (some self- penned).

2) How weird it is that we shove ground meat and soggy bread up the carcass of a turkey’s butt, and then scrap it back out to eat it.

3) You believe stuffing is the most delicious part of Thanksgiving dinner due to the fact it consists of ground meat and soggy bread shoved up the carcass of a turkey’s butt.

3) The time you were attacked by turkeys while walking to class. To be fair it was mating season and you were encroaching on their territory, even though you received a campus wide email warning about the aggressive nature of turkeys during their said mating season.

4) The fact that you’ve thought about taking up the hobby of taxidermy using road kill and a sewing set you bought at the 99 cent store.

5) Your secret desire to get abducted by aliens so a) you finally have proof they exist b) you can be exempt from your responsibilities for the time being.

6) The fact you have more cat friends than human friends.

7) Your vast research regarding conspiracy theories surrounding Beyoncé.

Everything, as long as it isn’t racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic or ableist, can be on the Thanksgiving table. Have fun eating!

I am a 3rd year English here at Cal Poly. I have a passions for all things pop culture, dogs and feminism.
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