The weather is getting colder and we all know what that means … cuffing season. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, cuffing season basically means the time of the year when all of your friends start getting into relationships.
If you’re currently in a relationship, think you may be soon or just want to prepare for future romantic endeavors, keep reading.
Here are a few things to remember as you get involved with a significant other:
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Learn to agree to disagree if your opinions differ from your partner’s
Having your own opinions and sticking to them is crucial for keeping your independence in a relationship. Of course, listen to your S.O. with an open mind and take the opportunity to learn more about the topic at hand. What you want to avoid, though, is completely changing your views simply to agree with your partner.
The danger with altering your views to align with your partner’s is that although doing so may make your relationship easier at the moment, it is hurting you and your independence in the long run.
We all want relationships to last forever, but that isn’t reality much of the time. Relationships end, and you want to be sure that you know who you are without your partner’s guidance.
2. Keep up with your favorite hobbies
Whether it be a sport, an art form or simply an activity you like doing occasionally, hobbies are crucial for defining who we are. It may be tempting to spend all of your time with your S.O., but that may not be the best idea.
Putting aside a little bit of time every week to pursue your own interests can help you build up the part of yourself that is separate from your S.O. This doesn’t mean you can’t share passions with your partner, but not everything has to be shared.
If you give up your hobbies when you get into a relationship, then if you break up with your S.O, you’re not left with much. It’s easy to forget who you are on your own if you don’t know what you like to do by yourself.
3. Don’t forget to tend to your other relationships
Ladies. We’ve all had that friend who became suddenly M.I.A. the second they got cuffed. Simply put, don’t be her.
As much as it is a good idea to become friends with your S.O.’s friends and visa-versa, you must make sure you are giving your besties some alone time.
Tending to relationships outside of your romantic one will help you to remember that you have a life outside of your partner that is just fine. This is a healthy mind-set to have, as it helps to release some pressure on your romantic relationship because girl, not everything is built to last forever.
4. Strive to be the person you want to be, not your partner’s ideal version of you
Whether it’s a new hair style, colorful nails or even a posting a bikini picture on your IG, if you want to do something, do it. It is extremely unhealthy to make decisions based off of what your significant other thinks. If you like it, send it.
The danger in living your life according to the plan of your S.O. is that you will likely lose track of who you want to be. And if the relationship ends, you’ll feel lost and have to start the cycle of getting to know who you are all over again.
5. Never stop learning more about yourself and your emotions
You can say emotions suck all you want, but if you want to be in a relationship those little fleas are going to be invading your headspace on the daily.
It can be overwhelming developing feelings in a new relationship, just as hard as it can be managing your emotions in a relationship you’ve been in for many years. If you’ve been single for a while, having someone else influence your emotions is something that takes some getting used to, and it isn’t always fun.
Nevertheless, emotions come with being in a romantic relationship, period. So, putting in the effort to recognize your emotions is worth your time.
For example, if you and your S.O. get into an argument, instead of taking an apology and calling it a day, try to talk it out in a way that helps you come to the root of your frustration. This will help you to learn how you prefer to be treated, which will help your S.O. avoid hurting your feelings and help your relationship overall.
Relationships can be bittersweet! Of course it feels nice to have a partner sometimes, but when it comes down to it, everyone struggles in relationships. I hope these tips can help you stay independent in your relationship while still enjoying the joy of dating in college.