Alright collegiettes, we’re back from summer looking beautifully sun-kissed in our new wardrobe and ready for a new year. New school year, new babe pool, am I right? College is supposed to be some of the best years of our lives: balancing responsibilities, cocktails and homework, and meeting some men to spice up your life. Let’s be honest, the hot guys are some of the best (and worst) parts of our college memories. Here are the five typical guys you’ll hook up with in college.
1. The Unicorn
We all have that guy that just so happens to be your best friend, but is literally the perfect man. He meets all the criteria on your extensive list of things you want in a boyfriend. He knows your deepest secrets and watches Netflix with you while you stuff your face with candy. After a few of these nights, life takes a turn on you and the movie night turns into a hot, unexpected hook up. Turns out this man is absolutely wonderful and kisses you like Ryan Gosling kisses Rachel McAdams in The Notebook. After a few hookups, your brain decides to overthink things and turns you into the most awkward person ever and now your relationship is ruined. How does one go on with life? Cue the LeeAnn Rimes song, “How Do I Live.”
2. The Confident Frat-Star
I’m not going to lie, this outfit isn’t necessarily my cup of tea; but there are some fraternity boys that can ROCK the polo, Chubbies shorts and Sperry’s look. When you see these confident men with their David Beckham haircuts downtown or at a party, a few drinks in and you’re ready to let loose and get a conversation going. Laughter fills the air and as he glances your way, you can’t wait to see the moves he has up his sleeve. After a couple kisses, you realize they’re similar to the ones the shark from Jaws would give you if that were possible. Sharp teeth and an open mouth? No thanks, I’ll pass.
3. The Stage Five
Let’s be honest, we’ve all had that hookup that started off great and later turned into a nightmare. This guy is sweet, don’t get me wrong. But, after that interesting hookup, you realize that there is nothing coming out of it. You try and tell him that you just want to be friends, but when you run into each other downtown, he turns into the wheezing kid that is obsessed with you, like Helga from Hey Arnold. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
4. The “Oh god, why?”
Truth be told, we all have those nights where you and all of your girlfriends go to town and party like it’s the last night on Earth. Vodka becomes your evil best friend and “Drop it like it’s hot” is your anthem. While dancing with your girlfriends, you get swept away by a guy who looks attractive, or at least you hope so, and shows you his moves like Jagger. He flows perfectly with every move you’ve been practicing from Beyonce’s latest music video and you just can’t take it anymore. In comes the kiss and the rest is history. When you wake up the next morning, the thoughts of Vodka and him flood your brain and all you can think is “Oh God, why did I do that.”
5. The One-Night Wonder
This last one is inevitable! There’s always that one guy that you meet who is so cute and easy to talk to, making your night unforgettable. You two have a lot of fun together and you hope that it never ends. When you two hang out at his place, the chemistry is undeniable and you begin kissing the night away. After a wonderful night, you can’t help but daydream about him the next day. You hope that he calls you or sends a cute text message asking to hang out, but you never hear from him again. Why? This is where a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream comes in handy.