For those of you new to the Cal Poly scene, the student body comes together every March to celebrate the most sacred of holidays: Saint Fratty’s Day. Your naïve friends from other schools might call it something like “Saint Patrick’s Day,” but don’t listen to them—they’re silly and probably go to UCSB. Saint Fratty’s Day pretty much consists of waking up at insane, pre-dawn hours and partying while watching the sunrise. No, none of it makes sense. Don’t bother trying to explain it to your parents. But here’s five tips to keep the bare minimum of sanity on your day of stupidity:
1. Be smart on sleep
Rule number one for Saint Fratty’s Day: sleep smart. When I say Poly kids wake up before dawn to start partying, I mean they really, truly, actually do. It’s wild. Who made these rules? But while planning for your 3 a.m. pregame the next day, the best route is to either go to bed extremely early or just give up on sleep altogether and plan accordingly. Don’t try to do some in-between thing and be half awake while the sky’s still black and your roommate is pounding on your door saying it’s your turn to chug. No one wins that way.
2. Eat a good meal (potatoes, anyone?)
If you’re one of the smart ones that actually goes to sleep early the night before, congrats! Hopefully that also means you’re smart enough to eat a big dinner the night before too. You’re going to need it. Since a “healthy” Saint Fratty’s Day breakfast just consists of maybe adding extra orange juice to your mimosa, cook up something solid the night before. Your stomach will thank you. Maybe your liver, too.
3. Keep moving
If you actually make it to a party that morning, you’re already beating about half the campus that “tried” and then fell back asleep on their own living room couch. It’s survival of the fittest out there. After you arrive at your main events and having fun, it’s important to remember to keep moving at all times. Why? You’re going to end up on the couch like those other kids if you’re not careful. Don’t be the person who wakes up in some stranger’s house hours later after your 10 a.m. “nap.” Grab an energy drink and stick with your friends.
4. Find your exit buddy
Yeah, about friends–they’re important. Most of Saint Fratty’s Day involves wandering around the streets of SLO like herds of drunk cattle, so it can get pretty packed and chaotic. It’s easy to get lost in the crowd. Have a friend who promises to stick with you at all times so you have a buddy if anything gets out of hand. Poly veterans know it can get really rowdy really fast. And speaking of which…
5. Don’t go on rooftops
Come on. You knew this was coming.
All in all, Saint Fratty’s Day is weird and awesome and doesn’t make sense, but when has that ever stopped college students? Go have fun but be smart about it. If we all play it safe, we can keep this crazy tradition around a while longer. Cheers!