There are a lot of guys in this world – billions of them, actually – but let’s be honest: we all know the best ones are here, at Cal Poly. I mean, think about it: what kind of guys goes to a school with beaches, D1 sports teams and a great engineering program attract? Athletic, gorgeous guys whose incredible abs are paralleled only by their impressive intellect. To commemorate all the wonderful Cal Poly men and their glory, here are the ten types of guys you’ll see on campus, from the Frat Star to the Beach Bum.
1. The frat star
There might be a lot of frat boys on campus, but not all of them are true frat stars. The typical Frat Star loves beer, America and formals in Vegas. He’s not afraid of pastel colors, polo shirts, or boat shoes, which makes some of his outfits more fashionable than our standard leggings-riding boots-sweater combo. The best part about the Frat Star? He cleans up nice: he’s got business casual, business professional and meet-your-girlfriend’s-parents outfits down to a science. The downside? He’ll be talking to the next girl faster than you can say “Pabst Blue Ribbon.”
2. The finance bro
The Finance Bro can only be described as a cross between a jock, a frat boy and a nerd. Arguably the superstars of the business college, Finance Bros are just as comfortable in a suit and tie as they are in a t-shirt and jeans. They’re highly ambitious, and wouldn’t be afraid to give your father advice on stocks and pensions despite their thirty-year age gap. He might be charming, but don’t be surprised when he leaves you behind to sell his soul to investment banking and the one-hundred-hour work weeks that come with it.
3. The gym rat
Rumored to be allergic to sleeves, the Gym Rat spends most of his time in bro tanks or shirts he cut himself. You can find him at the Rec, splitting his time between watching the game on TV, checking himself out in the mirror and occasionally, actually working out. I’m not going to lie, dating a guy who can bench press your entire body weight without breaking a sweat is pretty great, but I hope you like protein shakes for breakfast.
4. The engineer
The Engineer is truly a special breed. He takes the hardest subjects, math and science, and puts them together to build, code and create. Your typical Engineer might be a little awkward, but after the third or fourth time you see him, you realize he’s actually pretty cute. It doesn’t matter if nerdy is your type or not, Cal Poly engineers definitely deserve a chance.
5. The student-athlete
The Student-Athlete is probably the only guy you’ll meet who’s in better shape than the Gym Rat. At first, he seems like the complete package: he’s nice, he’s cute and most importantly, he has the abs of a Greek god. Watch out though; the Student Athlete is crazy busy. With practice, weight training, team meetings and travelling for games, he’ll barely have time to sleep and study, let alone time to hang out with you.
6. The cowboy
The Cowboy looks like he literally just stepped off a tractor and walked to class, which is actually completely feasible, considering we have a freaking tractor driving class on campus. Unfortunately, the Cowboy will most likely not count Taylor Swift as a country singer (sorry girls), but he will let you listen to real country music while you’re driving around in his pickup truck. He’s either a GDI or in AGR, but either way, he’s all about agriculture. Identifying features include oversized belt buckles, cowboy boots and flannel shirts.
7. The gamer
When I say “gamer”, I’m not talking about your casual FIFA player who plays a game or two with his buddies on the weekend. No, the true Gamer is something completely different. He probably hasn’t seen natural sunlight all weekend, but the light from his multiple computer screens is good enough for him. If you happen to be one of the few girls that see the inside of the Gamer’s room (I’m assuming there aren’t many), you can rest assured that you’ll never be in complete silence: the gentle whirr of his computer and game systems will both keep you warm and lull you to sleep.
8. The guy from your “class of” group
Every “Class of” Facebook group has at least one or two guys that just post way too often, and he’s one of them. Even as just a casual observer of the group, you know a weird amount about him: his name, what he looks like, and whom he likes to argue with in comments threads. He’ll inevitably end up in one of your classes, and you’ll recognize him, but you’ll never talk to him because it’s just too weird.
9. The outdoorsman
His closet is filled with Patagonia jackets, hiking boots and sleeping bags – and that’s just the way he likes it. Always down to go on an adventure or take a spontaneous camping trip, the Outdoorsman knows how to do the practical things all of us should really know how to do, like start a fire or read a paper map. He’s a regular at Big Sur, and has a favorite hiking trail at Yosemite. If the Outdoorsman hasn’t done it already, at some point he will definitely try to impress you with his knowledge of constellations (or at least make up some pretty good stories about constellations) while you two are camping out under the stars.
10. The beach bum
The Beach Bum is literally every fourteen-year-old California girl’s dream. He most likely has shaggy hair that isn’t long enough to put back in a pony tail, but is enough for him to have to push it back in between waves while he’s surfing. He always has sand in his car and a wetsuit hanging to dry in his bathroom, but he’s used to the grit and the smell. The Beach Bum might care about the surf more than studying, but you’ll forget about it as soon as he flashes that heart-melting, slightly crooked smile at you.