The first reaction for many of us who are broken up with is the rush of sadness that floods our bodies. It also contains the heavy crying sessions with tears that stain our faces and ruin our makeup. It is the type of crying sessions that make it hard for us to breathe and require a hug so tight from another person to calm you down. But then, the hate and anger comes along for the person that left us and shattered our entire being into a million pieces. There is the constant thought of wishing them nothing good in life and wishing them the worst in their next relationship. There is the constant thought of wondering if karma finally hit them, and the feeling of wanting to scream in their faces for all the harm they did to you.
I was her. Each and every one of those thoughts came through my mind. I was so focused on the bad that happened towards the end of my relationship that it outweighed all of the beautiful things that I got to experience. I began dating this person when I was 14, so I had a lot of beautiful experiences with him. But, I didn’t care. I would tell myself and my friends: “Well, all that was a waste of time,” “I regret it all,” “He doesn’t care about all that we went through.”
However, I am over the whole break-up thing and FINALLY on the stage of acceptance and whatever the final stages are. I say “whatever” because in reality no one really knows the right way to do the whole breakup journey. But back to my story.
I realized that after all of this ugly mess, I was very lucky to know what it was like to be loved by someone else. I created wonderful memories with him that I will actually never forget. I know what it’s like to be immensely in love with someone, as well as know how it feels for someone to be immensely in love with you. I was lucky to have experienced all of the cute first dates, the fun outings, the hand-holding, and the hugs.
It was beautiful to be in love. It is something I wish everyone can get to experience in their lifetime and I cannot wait to experience it one day again. I will forever cherish knowing what it was like to love and be loved.