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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Cal Lutheran chapter.

Something I have struggled with my whole life is determining the difference and finding a balance between being selfish and selfless. Finding a middle ground between the two terms can become very twisted, especially in today’s society when talking highly of yourself can be seen as conceited, yet not being confident can be viewed as weak. Most of the decisions made in life directly affect us and those around us. In many cases, we may have to choose between wanting the positive and negative impact on ourselves or on the people we are close to. Depending on the way people were raised, being selfless or selfish has many definitions and this can become even more complicated when entering a new chapter of life where everyone has different morals and values. 

“the constant thought that any decision we make for ourselves is selfish.”

Now being a college student and out of state, I have met a lot more people that are completely different from me. A common problem I relate to with my friends is the constant thought that any decision we make for ourselves is selfish. For example, if I complain about an issue in my life, I might feel selfish later for making my problems seem big when in reality, other people face way worse than I do. When I met new people and introduced this thought I had, I seemed crazy because they do everything for themselves without a doubt in mind. Realizing that there are people who do things strictly for the benefit of themselves no matter who it affects allowed me to rationalize what I have done for myself without feeling selfish. As life continues, finding that fine line between selfish and selfless acts is important because opportunities can be missed out on if you don’t do it for yourself, but you can also lose relationships if you don’t understand how to do things for others as well.

“Selfishness and selflessness should not be a judgment on social media.”

Social media has only grown, which has created more expectations for people to present themselves in a specific way. With social media and technology being easily accessible, almost anyone can find you online and judge you based on what you or others post for the public eye to see. A common judgment made is that someone who posts themselves often is conceited, and someone who doesn’t post themselves frequently or not at all is viewed as insecure and not confident. With this stereotype, people feel the constant pressure to be aware of what they post and are putting judgment on themselves to not be too selfish or too selfless. There should be no right or wrong way to do social media when the account is made to supposedly show who you are to the world. In reality, people should post themselves as much as they want, or someone should post strictly pictures other than themselves if it is what they feel represents them the most. Selfishness and selflessness should not be a judgment on social media.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone is calling you one or the other if you are happy with the decisions you make. Rest aside everyone else’s morals and focus on your own because they are simply prioritizing what they grew up to value over yours. Life is a constant cycle of change, and if you decided to alter yourself for every person you met who thinks differently than you, then you would never be your own person. Use these people to understand that the decisions you make should be strictly based on how you feel you should make them, no one else. 

Jaida Burgon

Cal Lutheran '24

Hi loves! I’m Jaida Burgon, born and raised on Oahu, Hawaii. Thus meaning I obviously love the beach and anything outdoors. My major is Communication, emphasis in PR and advertising with a minor in Multimedia. In my free time I love to read, write, and spend quality time with my friends and family.