Goodbye to My Doubts pt. 2

As the school year comes to a close again, it’s that time of the year to bid a farewell. As an homage to my goodbye article last year, these are once again my doubts coming in and the hope that I got out.

                                                                  Photo courtesy of Unsplash

My Doubts

I knew my sophomore year was gonna be something interesting from the get-go. This was the year that I officially switched my major to multimedia.

The first doubt I had stemmed from one of the biggest complexes I’ve had since forever: is this the right path I’m on? Despite that, fear, I still decided to change it. You see, I’ve never really had official training in the realm of multimedia, but I knew that this was an area that interests me. At the beginning of this semester, I was afraid that my ambition outweighed my skills.

My second and frankly biggest worry was what the future had in store for me. This is always a worry for me, and I feel like it is for everyone too. But this year, more often than not, my head was filled with the thought of, “Where are you going with this?” To be frank, I really don’t know.

                                                                 Photo courtesy of Unsplash

My Stories

Is this the right path I’m on?

I didn’t know the basics of Photoshop, Illustrator, and basically the whole Adobe Suite. In my mind, I was constantly freaking out because I felt like I was going into a major where everyone at least had a basic understanding of all these softwares. I felt like I was going to be behind in my skills. And I was. Without any sugar coating, I sucked for the first time I’ve ever used Photoshop. I remember one of the first things that we had to learn was clipping, and I had no idea what clipping was. All these terms and tools overwhelmed me. At the beginning of the semester, I doubted myself so much. At some points, I was afraid to show others my artwork because I didn’t think it was good enough.

I always had the thought in mind that this is what I want to do, I have to produce something good. I don’t have space to fail because this is the career that I’m pursuing. If you’re bad at it, why even pursue it at all?

My ambitions definitely outweighed my skills, but I used that flaw to my advantage. The more complex things that I wanted to do outside of my skill set allowed me to learn more. I’ve developed a drive to teach things myself that I didn’t learn in class. I was determined to succeed. Although I knew I had this characteristic in me, throughout my sophomore year, I felt like my determination shined. There were so many cases where I just had to keep trying, and I feel so satisfied in knowing that I did the things I did because I didn’t give up.

 

Where are you going with this?

This pointing to life in general. You see, I feel like I started the year with so many plans and ideas of what I wanted to do, but a big part of the what I was missing behind the plans and ideas was a "why I’m doing this?" Why am I pursuing multimedia? What is it that I ultimately wanted to create? I felt like I was just going through the motions of going to classes without actually being mentally there. I was just doing it to fulfill a requirement on the planning list. Don’t get me wrong, I actually liked the classes I was taking. It taught me the basic skills of the Adobe Suite and other software, but at the same time, I didn’t feel like I was creating something for a purpose other than a class grade.

I think the turning point gradually happened with the growth of my food blog. A little back story, I’ve been running a foodsta for almost 2 years now. It’s mostly dedicated to showcasing food from Hawaii, as well as some places in LA. This is basically my passion project, it’s my baby. Just during these past few months, I’ve had some amazing things happen because of this food blog. Part of it was making new friends, but the part that I hold the most dearly is the number of people that I’ve reached. It was because of this food blog that I’ve introduced people to a new food that they’ve would’ve never tried before. I help promote these restaurants that I love in hopes that others would love them too. I’ve covered local businesses that people have forgotten. The point is, this is where I feel like I’m making a difference in the world.

I realized that the whole point of me taking up multimedia was so that I would be equipped with the tools I needed to tell not only my stories but others’ stories too. Honestly, I still don’t know the exact path I’m going on, but one thing I know for certain, that if I can help people spread their stories, then I’m on the right path.

                                                                  Photo courtesy of Unsplash

My Hopes

As for next semester, I hope for a lot of things.

For one, I hope that I realize that I’m just starting on this journey. Skills need to be developed. Sometimes it seems like some people were born with a certain gift, but they too had to maintain that skill. Even Albert Einstein had to learn the basics of math at one point. It’s okay to take time to learn things.

I hope that I won’t fret if it seems like I’m straying off the path I want to go on. I want to trust myself in my actions that my footsteps will lead me to wherever I want to go. I keep on forgetting that there are multiple paths to take to the same destination. I believe that in some way everyone’s life has an internal GPS. No matter if you take a left instead of a right, you’ll end up where your destination is. And if someway, I don’t end up at the destination I wanted to be on, I hope that I like where I end up.

                                                                  Photo courtesy of Unsplash

So, good-bye to my doubts that weighed me down this year. But even though you weighed me down, you also taught me how to fly.