According to the National Report on Self Esteem, up to 98% of women feel pressured to look a certain way. Surprised? Me neither.
In a world that practically serves women insecurities on a silver platter, I’ve had my fair share of self-doubt. For this reason, it’s important to make an effort to empower other women by complimenting a stranger’s style, reminding the ladies in your life how strong they are, or spreading positivity in any way possible. But it wasn’t until I heard this quote that I realized this wasn’t covering all the bases of female empowerment:
“Reflect the kindness you show others back onto yourself. You have to empower yourself too.” In other words, female empowerment is not a one-way street.
When I first heard this uttered in line at a random Starbucks, I had to write it down. It struck me like a ton of bricks. Until that point, I hadn’t actually grasped that I wasn’t treating myself with as much love as I was treating those around me. While I’d compliment one girl’s hair, I’d silently criticize my own. When I’d admire my best friend’s endearing shyness, I’d despise myself when my cheeks turned red when talking to the guy I liked. As far as self-love goes, I had left myself in the dust. It left me wondering “why is it so much easier to love others than it is to love yourself?” This is a question all women are bound to ask themselves at some point.
If it were up to me, self-confidence would come easier than self-deprecation, but simply look around you and you can see why things are this way. Social media standards, retouched photos galore, over sexualized advertisements, narrow definitions of beauty- it’s no wonder why we unknowingly pick ourselves apart for the “flaws” we think we have. Idealistic and unrealistic have become synonymous.
Our perceptions of ourselves have been blurred; we must take it into our own hands to redefine beauty as we’ve come to know it so we can learn to love who we are. What society sells us is that what stands between us and our own confidence is our “flaws”. This is nothing but fiction; who says we can’t be beautiful because of our flaws? The answer is not altering yourself to meet a bar set too high by somebody else, it’s knowing that you already are enough. You can’t just lift others around you up without lifting yourself up too; you deserve love and encouragement just as much as they do. It takes a strong person to be kind to others, but it takes an even stronger one to be kind to themselves too.
I don’t claim to be an expert, in fact, I have a particularly long way to go on my self-love journey. But no matter where each of us might be, this is something to unite over and persevere through together! You are unique, rare, fun, quirky, silly, special, strong, smart, capable, beautiful, a world-changer, and a woman. You don’t need to be fixed, you are beautiful as you are.
You have to empower yourself too.