Dear Cyberbully,
I don’t know you, but you think you know me. Do you know what it feels like to see your face on someone else’s social media page, taken without your own consent? I don’t know you, but that didn’t stop you from posting demeaning, degrading, and hurtful words about me. Do you know what it feels like to wake up every day, wondering what you could have possibly done to deserve to be humiliated, picked on, and treated as less? No, you probably don’t. You may think this is all fun and games, but let’s get one thing straight. This is bullying; cyberbulling.
Words are powerful, whether they’re used positively or negatively. The nasty words you posted about me froze my entire body. They were unwarranted and destructive. So let me ask you, what did you gain from posting about me, someone you know nothing about? Did you feel better about yourself? Did your friends like you more because of your ability to put me down?
According to a survey done by The Cyberbullying Research Center, around 43% of adolescents have experienced some form of cyberbulling, with between 10-20% of those people experiencing it on a regular basis. According to Cyberbullyhotline, 3 milllion kids per month are absent from school due to bullying. 20% of kids who are cyberbullied consider suicide, and 1 in 10 attempt it. This number continues to grow as technology advances, as it is so much easier to bully from behind a screen.
I bet you never would have said those things about me if you’d had to look me in the eyes and say them in person.
You may think your words were funny or harmless, but among the other things you don’t know about me is that I’ve spent over a year trying to rebuild my confidence after my first year in college proved to be extremely difficult. I began my college career last year in a new state, with high hopes and thousands of new people to meet. After a while, people I considered friends no longer viewed me the same way. I felt unwanted and awkward. I felt excluded and lied to. I was isolated and lonely, and a long ways away from my friends and family. I began to think about myself the way you treated me. Unwanted, ugly, worthless. I felt that nobody liked me, and that I was not worthy of finding friends. You know nothing about my life or how my college experience has gone.
College is an exciting time to find yourself, but this was becoming very difficult for me to do. I actually took steps back, losing the girl I thought I was. I finally took action to begin the long process of piecing myself back together. It took a long time and a lot of hard work and support, and though it’s been almost a year, I still have plenty of progress to make.
I’ve utilized multiple resources on campus, helping me to cope and learn from my experience. The Student Counseling Center has been amazing in helping me learn how to identify and express how I’m feeling, as well as rebuild my confidence. The Residence Life/Student Conduct Office has been great, helping me understand what my options were to proceed.
I was ready to be done with all of that, moving on at the start of this year. But then I was shown the picture and comments about me on someone else’s social media account; someone who I don’t know, and who doesn’t know me. I was shown the cruel words about me, posted just for fun. And to what gain? What was the point of reopening this wound, more than six months later? Why couldn’t it stay in the past? Hadn’t enough damage already been done? The hole inside me, that was closing, tried to reopen itself again. The hurt, anger, and self-destructive thoughts tried to creep their way back inside of me, after I’d worked so hard to shut them out. But the photo was just for fun and harmless, right?
This wasn’t how I wanted to start my first two years of college, but I’ve chosen not to let my cyberbullying experience define my college reality. My confidence and self worth are extremely fragile, but are slowly finding their way back. I’ve chosen not to let myself be walked on, and will not tolerate being treated this way. The anger and damage done will fade, and we will learn to be considerate and respectful to each other. Maybe if you’d take the time to get to know me, you might find that we may have some things in common. You may actually like me. Though I don’t think I’ll forget, I’m trying my best to forgive and move forward. You no longer get to dictate my feelings and my life; I do. And I’ve chosen to be happy.
Sincerely,
The Girl You Don’t Know
PS. If you are being bullied, you are not alone. Seek help and talk to someone. CLU has resources to help.Photo courtesy of imcreator.com