Welcome to Ask Gumby, advice from the Regals of Cal Lutheran.
Gumby, or Enormous Luther, presides over the campus of California Lutheran University with his arms streched wide to encompass everyone with his love and grace. This help column tries to remember these values in answering questions, so that every answer is considerate and supportive. We’re opening our arms to your questions!
In each article there will be a question, submitted by a reader, and multiple different outlooks and opinions on what should be done in response to that question. Let us begin.
So, I’m not the smartest cracker in the box, but I know when I’ve got chemistry with someone. This chick and I have been going with each other since the beginning of Fall. We netflixed without the chill, we held hands, we got Chipotle, everything anyone could ask for right? I’m prepared to get amazon prime and commit, but every time I ask her about it, she shuts down the conversation. What do I do? I want to define our relationship, but how do I ask that without freaking her out?
-HELP!
Opinion One: Since it seems that you have already brought up the subject, it sounds as if she might want different things out of this relationship. While she might like the idea of being more than friends, she might also consider you a great friend and does not want to risk anything or hurt your feelings. Especially, if she ends up not feeling the same way as you do. Sometimes, girls want to be best friends for a while before committing to a relationship.
Opinion Two: It is not a good idea to keep pushing back this discussion though. Have you considered talking to her about what she wants? It is important to be honest and open minded about your feelings, but also you need to listen to what she wants. Ask her a few questions like: where do you see us right now? Where do you see us in the future? You need to gain clarity for what she sees in this right now and also how she feels about the future but give her time to think about it.
Opinion Three: You might just want to take it slower depending on your dynamic. Right now might not be the best time for her but the time may come. Be patient, if you think she is worth it, you should wait. Make sure you leave open communication with her so she can continually express how she feels.
Thank you for joining us for another Ask Gumby segment. Keep in mind, we will answer questions about AMOST everything: love, romance, money, classes, sex, family, friends… I think you get the idea. Keep in mind, we do have the right to choose to not answer a question if it deems unfit for the post.
Do know that ALL identities will remain anonymous and if we use any names, they will be changed for privacy purposes. Even the advice columnists answering these questions will have no idea who the question was from. ‘
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