Welcome to Ask Gumby, advice from the Regals of Cal Lutheran.
Gumby, or Enormous Luther, presides over the campus of California Lutheran University with his arms stretched wide to encompass everyone with his love and grace. This help column tried to remember these values in answering questions, so that every answer is considerate and supportive. We’re opening our arms to your questions!
In each article there will be a question, submitted by a reader, and multiple different outlooks and opinions on what should be done in response to that question.
I used to be an extrovert. Always happy and out there, made people laugh, made them happy. Now I’m being referred to as an introvert. It seems like all I ever do is apologize, annoy people, and burden my friends with my insecurities. Social situations scare me, because they’re just another opportunity to let people down. I feel like everyone at this school thinks I’m either awkward it just plain weird, because, of all the talk of how nice everyone is…no one approaches me, whether I smile or say hi or try to engage in conversation… S.O.S. What’s wrong with me?
-Discouraged
Dear Discouraged,
Opinion One: First and foremost, don’t let other peoples perception of you discourage you. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, the only opinion of your self that matters is yours. Being an introvert is an amazing thing. You can think that your mind is a great place all by your self as an introvert. But when you are an extrovert, you see the whole world as your oyster. Either way, don’t let those two terms classify you. Embrace your self the way you are.
Opinion Two: When you say you are burden your friends with your insecurities, there are two things that can be happening. The first being that your friends really do care, they might just have no idea how to help you solve your problems. Friends are also, really good at letting other friends know when they are over stepping their boundaries. If you feel like you can’t talk, there are always people on campus you can talk to. Have you tried Student Counseling Services? By no means are we implying that you need counseling, but they are guaranteed to listen and also give you advice. By talking to them, it may help you to not feel like a burden.
Opinion Three: There is one major thing you can do that can make you feel like an extrovert again: making eye contact. When walking down the spine, put your phone in your pocket, keep your head up and just smile at those when you walk by them. By simply doing that, you can gain your confidence back, slowly but surely. Also, remember that when you are walking around campus, everyone has their own agenda. The thing is, they are busy in their own minds thinking about the next thing that they are doing that day. So if you smile and someone doesn’t smile back, take it with a grain of salt because the truth is, they probably didn’t see you.
Thank you for joining us for this Ask Gumby segment.
Keep in mind we will answer questions about ALMOST everything: love, romance, money, classes, sex, family, friends… I think you get the idea. Keep in mind, we do have the right to choose to not answer a question if it deems unfit for the post. Do know that ALL identities will remain anonymous and if we use any names, they will be changed for privacy purposes. Even the advice columnists answering these questions will have no idea who the question was from. If you would like to see your questions answered on Her Campus Cal Lutheran’s “Ask Gumby,” fill out our questionnaire and we will answer your question as soon as possible.