Welcome to Ask Gumby, advice from the Regals of Cal Lutheran.
Gumby, or Enormous Luther, presides over the campus of California Lutheran University with his arms stretched wide to encompass everyone with his love and grace. This help column tried to remember these values in answering questions, so that every answer is considerate and supportive. We’re opening our arms to your questions!
In each article there will be a question, submitted by a reader, and multiple different outlooks and opinions on what should be done in response to that question.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. We tell each other almost everything. But, lately, he won’t talk to me. I can tell he’s stressed and sad, he’s a HORRIBLE liar, but he won’t let me talk to him about it. I’m the type of person who wants to help someone heal, and he’s not letting me. What can I do? I don’t want to lose my person! :(
-Concerned Companion
Opinion One: From the the looks of it, you’ve already brought up that something is wrong and they’ve rejected you. You can stress that you know they are going through hard times but they might not be ready to talk, and that is okay. Remind them that you are ready for them whenever they need it. Provide the mentality that you support them no matter what and that you will drop anything for them in a matter of seconds if need be. More than anything, they might just need a shoulder to cry on, and that’s perfectly okay.
Opinion Two: Also, you have known this person for 6 years. That’s a long time. A time filled with so many experiences and memories. You know what makes them sad and how to turn that frown upside down. Use that prior knowledge and make kind gestures to brighten their mood. Plan a date at their happy place or bring them their favorite comfort food. The most important thing to do during this time is to support them.
Opinion Three: This is something that could also be very stressful to you as well. When you have been with a person for so long, their pain becomes your pain. Bring it up again by saying, “I’m concerned and care about you and I would like to know what is going on so I’m not in the dark.” Also, you can directly ask if this issue involves you in the relationship because if that is a case then holding it in will not do any good.
Keep in mind we will answer questions about ALMOST everything: love, romance, money, classes, sex, family, friends…. I think you get the picture. Keep in mind, we do have the right to choose to not answer a questions if it deems unfit for the post. Do know that ALL identities will remain anonymous and if we use any names, they will be changed for privacy purposes. Even the advice columnists answering the questions will have no idea who the question was from. If you would like to see your questions answered on Her Campus Cal Lutheran’s “Ask Gumby,” fill out our questionaire and we will answer your question as soon as possible.
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