Part One: OKCupid
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single college student in possession of free time must be in want of a date.
The solution, or so I’m told, is to join a dating app. But which one? That is the unsolvable mystery I set out to solve. I went through the torture of joining five dating apps so you don’t have to. You can thank me later.
Some general thoughts before I review each site:
There are a bunch of creepers out there. I know that everyone already knows this but I thought I’d re-emphasize it. If you plan on entering the world of dating apps, know you are going to have to field out a lot of the not-so-great. It comes with the territory.
If you have braces, you will be called cute on the daily. Seriously. I have not been called cute this many times since I had training wheels on my bike.
It should be noted, for all those science majors who like to know the intervening variables, I have the unique challenge of being a Christian looking for dates. On sites that gave the option I said I was open to dating Christians, Catholics, Jews, Spiritual but not Religious and Agnostics. Originally, I just said Christian but the pickings are slim.
The Sites: OKCupid, Bumble, EHarmony, Match, and Tastebuds.
OKCupid (Cost: Free)
Probably both the best and the worst. I went on 8 dates (5 different guys, two weeks) from this site. In fact, this was the only site/app I got dates from.
The Good:
- Quantity. Seriously, I got tons of matches.
- Quality (ish). What’s nice was the more questions I answered, the better I was able to see how I matched with someone. A lot of reviews I read online, people complained it was too nuanced but I found if I answered five questions at a time whenever I had a few minutes to spare (walking to class, etc) it was worth it. I have answered 915 questions. Which is embarrassing now that I’ve written that out. It was for the purpose of research, guys…
- No pictures in messaging. You may not think this is a blessing, but fielding crude words about dicks is a lot better than seeing pictures of dicks. I mean, let’s be honest, no one likes an unsolicited dick pic. I only had to get rid of two messages that were overtly sexual but they were text so it wasn’t like I had an image stuck in my mind after.
The Bad:
- Quantity. It was overwhelming. I’ve had the app for a little less than three weeks and had over 200 messages. I responded to maybe 30 of them and keeping track of who I was talking to and what we’d talked about was exhausting. Not for the faint of heart.
- Quality. I had the same problem on every site. Guys messaging that a) hadn’t read my profile, b) were <15% matches with me, and c) “heyy. i am jo how r you”
- Old guys like to message. I got one from a 68 year old asking if I was lucky.
- I only met two guys from CLU and one of them is a grad student. I’m still talking with both, but haven’t met either (though as I’m writing this, I am planinng on meeting up with one at an event tonight). I would have liked to meet people closer, or even better, on campus. Guess I should just join more clubs…
The Entertaining:
- I got a message that said (and I quote, minus his name) “This — guy thingks of you as a beautiful mermaid from under the Atlantic ocean as these mermaids swin with passion and are the reasons why the pacific ocean remains purified because these mermaids posses magical mysterious powers that a guy like — would like to discover.” Yup, I’m a magic mermaid.(Giphy.com)
- I got invited to join a poly couple looking for a long term third. I never thought I’d be asked to be a unicorn (I’m all sorts of magical creatures on this site).(giphy.com)
Overall
Worth it if you don’t mind the work. I enjoyed the dates I went on, for the most part. Two were bad, two were eh, and three were good. Answer the questions and look at how they answered. Don’t compromise on things that are important to you.
PS I met a really nice guy from New Zealand who I now email back and forth with. Not going to do the whole LDR thing, but it’s nice to have a new friend! (99% match, in case you were curious).
(animalygifs.tumblr.com)
Some notes for the guys out there:
1. Don’t message someone who is clearly not a match. 0% match messages me? I won’t even read the message. Also, if you say in your profile that you don’t date people who are religious and the info section of my profile (not even the paragraph section but the tiny demographic that shows next to my pic) says that I’m Christian and it’s important- why do you message me? I will not respond because I know you didn’t even glance at my profile.
2. Grammar is attractive. I’m not expecting Shakespeare, but I do expect that you can capitalize your “I”s and that you know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. If your starting line is “i like your profile. your beautiful”, I will cringe and I will delete the message. Though I’ve seriously thought about being snarky and responding “my what is beautiful?”
(reddit.com)
3. No means no. And not just for sex, but for dates and kissing, too. Really. And if a girl doesn’t respond after three messages, that also means no. When we go on a date and I say “I had a nice time, but I don’t think we are a good match. I don’t want to go on a second date” that means I had a nice time, we aren’t a good match, and please don’t ask me on a second date. It’s hard enough rejecting you the first time. I had two times where I told a guy no to a date and a week later got a message “wanna go out tonight?”
(youtube.com; Meghan Trainor “No”)