This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at C of C chapter.
You see cute couples and are annoyed rather than jealous.
Seeing cute engagement pictures on Facebook, the cute couples in movies and on TV, and super happily married family members…not amused. Stop being annoying.
When someone asks you out and you’re like…thanks but, no thanks?
While dates in theory sound nice and sweet and fun, in reality…they’re awkward and there’s so much pressure. Do you have food in my teeth? Now you have to burp really bad but you can’t becuase that’s not sexy. Does this lighting make you look pale? Your thong is just so tightly wedged up there and your downstairs can’t breathe. The conversation is awkward, and now it’s boring. Or maybe this person is just talking way too much. Why struggle through something so terriby awkward when you could be in bed, in sweatpants, eating ice cream, and watching “New Girl” or “Criminal Minds”.
When someone tells you they like you.
Ha ha, ha ha…no you don’t. What’s more awk than having someone tell you they like you. Let’s try that again. That can’t be right. What did you say? Do you want to get some ice cream so that way you’ll be stuffing your face and can’t repeat that?
God forbid someone try to kiss you.
Awk…didn’t ask for tongue cuddles in the mouth. No kisses please. Keep your tongue away from me, we are not dogs. No licking.
You’re always happily a third wheel.
A happy third wheel makes a happy date, right? And you can always be the couple’s photographer when they want to take those cute-gross couple pictures you keep seeing all over Facebook.
When people want to set you up.
No, I don’t want to meet your “super cool friend”. I don’t care if your friend thinks I’m cute. My cats and I are perfectly content by ourselves, thank you.
When people flirt with you.
Taking compliments and trying to flirt is so awkward and difficut sometimes. You have a, uh, nice forehead? You have some, uh, really white teeth? Those pants make your butt look touchable?
You just really, really like your alone time
When you just don’t enjoy getting dressed up and going out, but really enjoy staying in and catching up with some Netflix by yourself, who has time for a relationship? Alone time is awesome. Usually.