Sh*t College Kids Say

College goes by faster than you think. Right now, I can’t believe that the first semester is already coming to a close. It honestly feels like I just got here and it’s crazy to think my first year is halfway done. I’ve jam-packed so many meaningful memories and experiences into such a short time period and it’s, at best, optimistic to think I will remember all the individual pieces of the year. My amazing group of friends has so many unique and hilariously different people, and it makes for some interesting conversation. Around the second week of classes, we had the brilliant idea to make a collaborative Google Doc entitled “Sh*t College Kids Say” of all the funny and noteworthy quotes we say throughout the year. At the end of the year, we’re going to go through and read each one and try and guess who said it and when. It’s also really fun for all of us to go to put something on the list and then read the latest additions that someone added previously. It’s an extremely fun way for us to keep track of the semester’s highlights and also have a good laugh when we need one. 

Here are some of the best ones so far:

“Next time the elevator is broken, I’m not going to class.”

“Tbh the constant threat of death is what keeps me skinny so...”

“I have ten remaining brain smells.”

“I can’t dance. I’m a white people.”

“Who’s to say I’m not a plant?”

“Natural selection is a b*tch and she’s coming for me”

“Oh, you pee? That’s weird.”

“My hair is the source of my power.”

“I’m not dyslexic, I just can’t read.”

“My heart is in my feet.”

“Does my stomach hurt or do I just hate myself?”

“The pressure of my pee stream could take the paint off a house.”

“The waiting room to heaven is Florida.”

“Is that all I am to you? A sweet southern potato pie?!”

“It wasn’t my fault, it was a soft wall!”

Those are just a small sample of them; the list is almost 10 pages long. But as fun as it is to just make fun of all the dumb stuff we say, it has a deeper meaning to us. It’s a way for us to document our time together. Writing all this down will inspire us to recall the context in which each thing was said and reflect fondly on the fun we had together. I think it’s so important to create memories and live in the moment, but also it’s important to document them. There’s nothing wrong with taking a cheesy photo with your friends at the beach or with video-taping the things going on around you. Creating something tangible to be able to physically look back on is one of the best ways to appreciate life’s experiences after they’ve already passed. I hope our shortlist gave you a good laugh, and maybe this will inspire to start your own list with your group of friends! I highly recommend it, you’d be surprised at how many hilarious memories you’ll enjoy reading later on.