I have been familiar with the “Body Positivity” Movement for as long as I can remember, and it is a part of me that has developed continuously throughout my life. Learning self-love is a journey that we all must venture out on at some point in life, but it can feel never-ending. That’s because it is. Self-love is not a one-time thing. It is not a singular test of how much we can love ourselves for a day or two. It is an unceasing process that we must continue every single day if we really wish to reach our full potential when it comes to loving ourselves as we are.
Self-love and self-acceptance are two very different things and can mean the difference between tolerance and actual respect for one’s own existence. I remember being on the playground in the 3rd grade and seeing how the other girls looked different than I did, and how I wondered what set us apart from one another. After recognizing the difference in my appearance versus that of my peers, I began calling myself “fat” at the age of 10. Looking back, I am not surprised that I allowed myself to fall into such burdening thought processes, as the only fat people I had seen on tv had been villains. The Little Mermaid and Mulan were and remain two of my favorite Disney movies of all time, and we can see that both villains have something in common — they are big. The demonization of fat people in the media and especially in children’s movies and television is something that has been so heavily normalized that it took me 18 years to recognize that there is in fact a pattern and a problem that comes along with it.
As time has gone on, I have spent many an hour pondering the countless microaggressions and different ways that people have commented not-so-slyly on my body, as well as looking at what my peers and friends had also experienced. Being body positive doesn’t only mean ignoring the commentary and loving yourself despite what others say, it means working to break the stigma around loving ourselves. Society tells bigger people that we are less deserving of love, less deserving of eating our favorite foods, and overall less deserving of opportunities that thin people have earned because of their thinness. Society tells thin people to “eat a cheeseburger” or that they need to put some “meat on their bones”. It isn’t uncommon for someone my size to be asked/told “are you sure you want to eat that?”, “you’re pretty for a big girl”, etc. It isn’t uncommon for a thinner person to be compared to a curvy person, being told that they are not good enough for either. Nobody ever wins. Situations like these are ones that can lead to eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and an overall negative self-image. Breaking the stigma is the only solution.
Commentary on another person’s body can be presented in myriad different ways — whether it is a direct comment or a microaggression, it can cause damage to one’s mental health. For example, there was a person who I knew in the past who found pleasure in calling me “whale” behind my back. (Note: in bringing this negative social experience up, I am not asking for sympathy or “fishing for compliments”, I am simply noting that commentary like this aches.) The quiet giggles in the back of the classroom when I was presenting a project, the direct jokes made with other students concerning my weight, and the constant worry that I was being gawked at were all too familiar, and although I came out of that experience stronger, that is not the case for many. According to the National Organization of Women (NOW), 50% of teenagers feel “self-conscious” about their own bodies.
50% of teenagers. How do we let this happen to our peers?
Body Positivity wasn’t created to be a movement for one type of person, as we can all benefit from learning and practicing self-love. I know that learning to love yourself is not an easy task and that it can feel like an impossible feat to overcome, but I believe that we are all capable of climbing this mountain. If you know me, you know that I hate cliches. They generally annoy me, to say the least. However, I am going to throw that out the window for this article. The moral of the story is to treat people with kindness (yes, that was a Harry Styles reference). Give people the same respect you would expect from them. Commenting on someone else’s body is outdated and no longer socially acceptable-it never should have been. Check up on your friends, be kind to others, and check on YOU. Thank your body for all it has done for you over the years and continue to treat it with the love and respect it deserves. You deserve to love yourself.