Really Horrible Dates

Everyone has had a pretty bad date experience. We all have that one story where a guy made you pay for your dinner, or a girl left in the middle of a date to go meet up with her ex, or something else awkward and horrible that makes you want to skip out on dating. But, the best way to feel better about your awful dates are to read other people’s awful dates and realize that yours wasn’t as bad as theirs…or maybe it was and then at least you know you are not alone. After doing some asking around, here are some really horrible, awful, and sometimes funny dates that people have admitted to. And that might make you feel better about your bad dates… 

“I don’t really have any awful date stories, but my best friend probably has one of the best. While in college, she was taking a class and the teacher’s assistant kept asking her out. He wasn’t very attractive but she thought, ‘hey, maybe I can get a good grade out of this’. So, she agreed to go out with him. He took her to Zaxby’s. She paid for her own food. As they sat down to eat, he took his fake teeth out and sat them on the table. No warning, no explanation. Just two fake front teeth sitting bare on a restaurant table.”

“I was in high school and this guy on Facebook and I started chatting it up. He sweetly asked me on a Valentine’s date and I said yes. We were just going to go see a movie, so I get there and meet him and he brought his little brother to double date with us. I don’t even remember what movie we saw, but he left in the middle of it. I felt my phone vibrate, but I didn’t check it until he got back. It was a text saying “would you mind if I held your hand?” And I was like…do I text him back or not? So I think I just whispered “not at all” and we held hands and I never saw him again.”

“I show up at his house so we can go together to dinner with my brother and my brother’s girlfriend. He had a Gatorade in his hand as he walked to my car. He drove. We get to dinner and it’s a steak dinner. Yum, right? Well I ended up paying for both of us, whatever. Then we go mini golfing and it’s all fun, right? He was all over me at one point which made me feel weird. So we get to the car and it’s midnight and he says we should go downtown to a show. I agree. My brother and his girlfriend have work in the morning so they go home. As we were on the highway his driving was really intense. He jokingly tries to race our friends in the car; it was obvious something was up. I ask and he says that his Gatorade was straight vodka. He’s driving MY car, drunk. We get downtown and get to the show and everyone is drinking, whatever. Two hours later he’s drunk off his ass and is saying absolute crap to me, it got hurtful. He jokingly grabs some girls boobs and I just got pissed. It’s 3:00am downtown and I just left. The next day he didn’t remember any of it.”

“I had a friend ask if I wanted to go eat that night. Thinking it was super casual because we had only hung out once in a group and he had asked me over text message, I get ready wearing jean shorts and something simple and he shows up completely dressed up. I mean khakis, belt, tie, etc. I just left and went with it. We get to this nice place for dinner and I told them we had two and they said it would be an hour and a half wait. He’s then like ‘I actually made reservations’. At this point I wanted to leave because I didn’t know this was going to be happening. I really thought we were going to end up at McDonald’s or something. I awkwardly ditch out after we walk around because I couldn’t handle the awkwardness. Let’s just say this kid doesn’t talk to me anymore”.

“We went to dinner and it was going well so I decided to take her back to my place to see where it went. After a bit of making out I decided to turn things up a notch and went down to the promise land. After a few moments I noticed a problem…there was blood everywhere. I was about to be grossed out but then I realized it was my own blood that was coming out of my nose in large quantities and was now coverd her crotch and my face. The old “hold on I will get you a towel” comment took on a whole new meaning in that VERY awkward moment. I think it goes without saying there was no second date”.

“It was Valentine’s Day. Me and my friends have a Valentine’s Day tradition because we’re usually perpetually single – we watch slasher movies. We ordered pizza and me and my friends are just acting stupid and watching slasher movies and this guy I had been sort of talking to wanted to hang out, so I told him he could come join us. Well it’s the first time we’ve hung out and he brings me chocolate – peanut butter chocolate. I’m like, deathly allergic to peanut butter. So we’re watching these movies and he tries to hold my hand and my friends started making fun of us like ‘this is supposed to be single girls Valentine’s Day man! Look at you over here holding boys hands’, and then one of them threw pizza at him. So he goes to leave and I walk him out, and he goes in to kiss me, but he misses and ends up kissing my nose instead…I went inside, wiped off my nose, and we ended up dating for nine months after that”.

“The worst date I had was more of a string of dates. This guy obviously wasn’t over his ex, he still had photos of his ex in his apartment. The first date was awkward, but he asked for a second. So I went to his apartment where he made me dinner then showed me around his place. I noticed he had a few photos up of a girl – they were of his ex. I thought that was weird, but he asked for a third date, so I thought that meant he was ready to move on. I was going to spend the night but he kept talking about his ex, so at 1:00am I decided to leave. About a month later, he goes to Germany. He sends me a postcard while he’s there. When he comes back we go on another date. We go to a baseball game, I drive and on the way there he tells me that he went to Germany to visit a girl that he was really interested in who is incredible and beautiful but things just didn’t work out. I’m kind of done with the guy at this point, but he asks for a fourth date, which was fine, whatever. Fifth date, we go to dinner. Half way through he says he’s just not in love with me and this can’t continue! No one is supposed to fall in love after five dates! I didn’t want to be around him much more after that”.

“I once tried online dating…never again. I met up with this girl at the mall to just hang out and get to know each other more, and then we went back to her house. I had dinner with her family, which was kind of awkward since we had just met, but I sucked it up. After dinner we headed up to her room, which was nice to have some alone time. She shows me around her room which seems pretty normal until she starts showing me these paintings she made – all about death. Pictures of the Grim Reaper ripping people apart, people committing suicide, beasts eating people. Afterwards she began reading poems to me about things of the same nature. While she was doing that she kind of had this crazy look in her eye, and was laughing and smiling during. After all that we started to talk about “normal” things again, but I finally decided I needed to bounce so I pretended to get a call from work saying that I had to come in early tomorrow”.

“I had a headache  and hadn’t eaten anything all day and decided I should take medicine on an empty stomach, which makes me sick. We were on the way to Chick-fil-a when I made him pull over in a church parking lot where I puked my brains out for like a solid two minutes. Then, we got to Chick-fil-a and I tried to eat soup but when he dropped me off at my car he was waiting for me to get in and then I started throwing up again but this time it was right in front of him and again it was for like two minute because I was throwing up everything I had eaten. Needless to say, I left embarrassed”.

“One day after my Saturday shift this girl I was pursuing texted me telling me her parents were going to be out until late and that I should come over. I worked as a life guard so I was sweaty and dirty when I showed up, she suggested we take a shower together and you can imagine how quickly I agreed. So I put on my super sexy playlist , mostly compiled of the Weeknd with “Strip” by Chris Brown sprinkled somewhere in the mix, that I made especially for occasions such as this. Amidst fooling around, we hear the front door slam. Backstory, this girl’s parents are legit psycho – huge, uptight, overprotective, racist, southern father, and a whiny little minion as his wife. She bolts out of the shower and downstairs with a towel and I can immediately hear an argument begin. While frantically looking for a way out of this house I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I knew I was screwed. He calls out my name, and like a pathetic little weasel I poke my shampoo covered head out of the edge of the curtain and mumble ‘yes sir?’ as if I didn’t know what he wanted. ‘Get the fuck out of my house!’ this bear screams and I immediately jump out of the shower, butt naked, covered in shampoo. This sent him into raging bull mode. As I tried to scurry past he grabs my neck and pins me against the wall wailing into my face and tosses me to the floor. I quickly get up, grab my clothes and sprint down the stairs where her mother was waiting at the door. I begged for forgiveness and repentance before reaching for the door knob, where she then slapped whatever pre-pubescent facial hair I had off of my face. Then she stood aside and let me out”.

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