This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at C of C chapter.
At school you may feel like an adult with your life together. You balance hard classes, know how to write a check, snake your own drain, and navigate college’s social scene all on your own. But then soon as you get home, you may find yourself stomping up the stairs screaming, “You just don’t understand!” This holiday season, kick your bratty 14-year-old self to the curb and earn a rightful place at the adult table.
It is easy to fall back into expected roles as soon as you walk through your parent’s door. Your parents probably don’t help since they want to still treat you like the little girl you once were. It is frustrating to be treated like a kid again when you’ve grown so used to independence. But remember, while your house, town, and family may be the same, you are not. You are a grown-up now and the fastest way to get treated like one is to act like one.
Contribute to meaningful conversation by talking about stuff you know your parents and relatives are excited about. You can also use this tactic to artfully steer clear of topics you really want to avoid. Don’t want to talk about career plans with Uncle Tom? Why not as him about his latest project at work. If you can hold your own in adult conversations, you’ll get major brownie points.
Also find new ways to bond with your family. While all a seven-year-old has to do is twirl around and look adorable in order to gather attention from family members, an adult is expected to contribute a lot more. Learn how to cook a new side dish and prepare it for dinner, or offer to take over cleaning the dishes. Integrating yourself more into your family traditions also makes your parents happy, and they’ll be more likely to treat you like an equal when they see the effort you’ve put in.
Above all, be polite and kind. The best way to get respect is to act like you deserve it. While it may be hard to hold it together if you feel belittled or frustrated, swallowing a little pit of your pride is the first step to a great adult relationship with your family.