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How I Create My Perfect Bracket Even Though I Know Nothing About Basketball

Imagine a young girl raised by a dad who majored in musical theater and a mom who has an English degree. Now, can you really blame her for not knowing anything about the extraordinary event that is March Madness? Thankfully, I’m friends with some of the biggest sports nerds known to man. In the past few years, I’ve started partaking in this awe-inspiring tournament by means of creating a bracket. Do I watch the games? Nope. And yes, I have lost every time. But no matter, I will now educate all you readers on my bracket creation strategy, and if you take anything away from this article, let it be that you should probably, most definitely, not take my advice. 

 

Strategy #1: Colors are Crucial

Virginia? Ohio? Who’s to say? But I guess I like the orange and blue combo better than the green and white combo. 

 

Strategy #2: Read Up on Ranks

And by read, I just mean read the number on the side of each logo. The higher the number, the better the team (I know, super complicated stuff). In the case of two teams that are similar in rank, I utilize the Color Method or the Coin Toss approach. 

 

Strategy #3: Coin Toss Contest

Trust in fate, gravity, and physics. You never know, maybe Oklahoma could win against Gonzaga someday (that’s a basketball joke). 

 

Strategy #4: Sharing is Caring

Team up with your other sport illiterate friends and pass the phone around while you create your bracket. This is also beneficial because then you can split the pool cost amongst your group. 

 

Strategy #5: First is the Worst

Looking for a fun way to incur a financial or physical punishment? Put down the worst team to win each game, and pray for the biggest upset in the history of basketball. 

 

This year I should probably attempt to be slightly more invested than usual and actually watch some of the games. I mean, half the fun is yelling at the TV when your team doesn’t score, right? Looking forward to losing some money and getting made fun of this season. Happy watching! 

To create a bracket, go to ESPN or download the app here.

 

Julia is from Westchester, NY and is a sophomore majoring in Exercise Science & Kinesiology. When she's not writing or studying anatomy, she loves hanging out with her dog, Molly, and watching New Girl on repeat.
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