Wow! Look at you! Congrats, you made it! No, like, I’m genuinely proud of you, this was hard to do. Well, you’re here, I hope you like it. When we are told about moving out and going to college, we are always told about this adjustment period we are bound to go through. And adjusting is this whole process that is uniquely shaped from person to person. But I feel like we all share little, random, “is this really happening” experiences. Things that you feel like are just so out of nowhere that no one could be prepared. That’s what I’m trying to do. Give you some realities we all face. Some easy, some not so much. Obviously my experiences won’t be the exact same as everyone else’s, but the little things I learned can be applied to many of us. So here are a few very real things that I think everyone should know before their first few weeks of freshman year:
- Friends Aren’t easy
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Remember when you were like five and your mom put you in every after school program under the sun? Monday is soccer practice, Tuesday is dance class, Wednesday: get ready for Scouts, oh, and honey please get to the car line early on Friday so I can get you right to piano. We were constantly put into things to be around other people who were potential weekend sleepovers and homework help phone calls that would turn into our besties, our “ride or dies”. Do you think your parents threw you in those things because they saw you as a soccer playing-tapdancing-knot tying- piano prodigy? Come on face it, they knew that you would kick the ball in the other team’s goal. Now? We’re scattered. When I got here it hadn’t hit me yet. Unless you came here following your friend group, it probably didn’t hit you either. It’s easy to not see. I mean, you’ve been with them for the past 4 to 12 years, all summer, you call, you text. But now they are there and you are here. And this is the realization you will make you first few days/weeks at college: you have no friends. It sucks but it’s true. I thought that “staying in touch” would be what got me through. I learned very quickly that being on your own is lonely. Real human contact outside of a screen or phone call is actually healthy. So, what do you do now hat you realize you don’t actually want to sit in your dorm and do homework (like seriously wants to actually do homework)? You have to do something that some of us haven’t had to think about since elementary school: socialize. YOU have to be the one to put yourself into the college equivalent of rec team soccer. But at least now you don’t have to leave the house at 7 am on a Saturday. There are so many things centered around specific interests. You just have to be the one to go to club meetings, sport events, cult gatherings, ya know whatever you are into.
- Homework assignments aren’t that hard once they are finished
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I know I literally just said “Who would want to be doing homework?” but like, seriously, you. You are paying over ten thousand dollars to be here for not even a whole year. Please don’t be over ten thousand dollars in the hole because you just didn’t feel like doing your English essay, it’ll take like 3 hours out of your week, just do it. I know that I would rather be doing literally anything else than my algebra homework (or any assignment for that matter). But I’ve found that doing literally anything else WITHOUT the stress of encroaching deadlines is such a better feeling. My best advice when it comes to the whole “I’ll get to it later” vibe is later never comes do it now. Why be writing a subpar barely made the word count essay at 2 am when you could be scrolling through Instagram at 2 am with a beautiful MLA cited double spaced master piece sitting in the dropbox 2 days early. Homework assignments are important, I don’t really know why, but just trust me on this one okay. Based on the first bit of my semester, sooner is much better than later.
- It’s okay to like the “cringy” things
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So this is one of those experiences I had in the first week that may not apply to everyone else. Addictions happens everywhere. Some vices, however, are much less harmful than others. My parents were worried about me ending up into drugs or alcohol, but no. What did their young, naïve daughter actually get addicted to after moving away? Vampires. I’m not ashamed to admit that one of the greatest comforts I have found since my move is the blue tinted world of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. When I told my parent’s I ordered the box set of the books after only watching the first movie they almost hung up on me. Of course there are much worse, much more cringy things to like, but being absorbed into a story because you want the fictional vampire to be in love with you is pretty high up on the list. However, there is no harm caused to anyone else because I am hooked on a 2008 trend of wanting sparkly 108 year old teenager to be real. I think that we put too much effort sometimes in looking cool. But when people said, “It’s college, no one cares” they were right. As long as what you enjoy doesn’t damage anyone or anything, including yourself, enjoy it. Take time to like things that make you feel happy and comfortable. Unless you are taking time to be Team Jacob. Then maybe disregard this part.
- Your body isn’t a temple, It’s like a 2008 Honda civic
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“You’re body is a temple, cherish it”. Honey, no. You’re gorgeous, but your body isn’t a fancy building that has people taking care of it. You are the only one in charge of your body. You are in charge of making sure you are in one piece and energized and have the proper things in it to run. Getting to college is a whole lot of taking care of yourself. Eating is a big struggle I have faced. “Proper” mealtimes don’t really exist when you have classes from 8 am to 6 pm. The old school lunchtime thing made everything a little easier. It was actually nice to have a reminder to make sure you had fuel in the tank. Now, I find myself struggling remember what dinnertime is. I do like the independence though. I get to teach myself what times I need to eat and I’m in charge of what I eat. Don’t get me wrong, I miss a good home cooked meal. But at least now I don’t have to pick bell peppers out. If you struggle with remembering to do the little things through out the day that keep your body going, I suggest structuring a regimen. Write out your daily schedule with your classes and club meetings, but add in those reminders of self maintenance: meal times, showers, heck even schedule a bedtime if it helps you.
- Homesickness may actually be a real illness
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I found myself doing everyday tasks like showering, reading, doing homework, walking to class all while crying. I found that every time I hung up the phone knowing very well I would be calling again in a few hours I was tearing up. I found that trying to sleep in a bed doesn’t feel like my own was usually met with tears. Good lord, I cried a lot. I knew I would miss home, but I didn’t know how hard this feeling of trapped panic would hit me. The feeling of anxiety of being so far away from the comfort of open arms and familiarity grew. And it grew fast. Sometimes the weight of being alone was paralyzing. This little lesson was a much more comforting one. If you miss home so much, there is a very good chance that home misses you just as much. Taking time to talk to the people you miss is one of the best cures for homesickness. And there is nothing wrong with going home in moderation. Spend your time getting to know the space and community around you, but taking breaks to be in your place of comfort is important as well.
- You did this, you freaking got this
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Of course you had amazing support getting here: parents pushing you to do your very best, teachers and counselors writing letters of recommendation, scholarships donors making it just a bit more affordable. but who filled out those scholarship applications? You. Who studied until the textbook looked blurry? You. Who’s name was at the top of that acceptance letter? YOURS! You are the one who got into this school, and you’re going to be the one to kill it while you’re here.