5 Things to Measure when Deciding if Enough is Enough

Letting go of the person you love can be tough, but for the right reasons, moving on may be more beneficial for self-sustainment. Below I've listed 5 ways to know when a relationship isn’t working and enough is enough.

#1. Does abuse exist?

No relationship is perfect and things happen. One should never let their guard down in terms of physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse. Nearly three women are killed every day by their intimate lovers. Before disclosing these dark secrets to their family, friends, and other loved ones, both women and men of abusive relationships will remain silent for years.

I am here to tell you, you're not alone. Never lose your identity behind the word “love”, not all love is genuine, but it definitely doesn't have to be abuse or most extreme, fatal.

#2. Do you seek attention from others?

If you find yourself seeking attention from others with no regards of the person you’re in the relationship with, it may be time to stop fooling yourself and separate. Hurt people, hurt people. I do suggest you should be in a relationship with someone you can talk to and share honesty with. If that doesn't exist, then it may be time to do some self-reflection. If there is something missing and you’re feeling bored, tired, uninterested, or even lonely, first, have the conversation with your partner on what they can do to fill that void. Once that takes place and there is no solution, it may be time to remove yourself and remain friends.

#3. Infidelity

Media plays such a big role in relationships. Posing nude, half naked, or even butt shots on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter will make you a public figure quicker than money can or in some cases lead to an opportunity of income. Skinny is sexy, big butts are attractive, and women with surgical curves are much more appealing in the eyes of the beholder. If these are reasons men can’t keep the penis to themselves or partner and women, sharing her treasures with the surgically enhanced third leg, then you should definitely know that enough is enough. Once you forgive someone who has stepped out on the relationship, there should either be a change in actions or forgive and move forward without. That kind of stress is not needed in a relationship. Don’t spend your nights lying awake pondering where your significant other is. Either you trust them or you don’t. If you have to question it them enough is most likely enough.

#4. Communication is failing

How many times do we have to discuss an issue and beat the dead horse over and over? If you know something is wrong, why does the partner do things to put the relationship in jeopardy. You’ve probably heard more than a million times that communication is key. In fact, it's the whole house. There are many things to consider when you are in a relationship. The dating phase of getting to know the person you are with should be full of questioning, the gaining of trust, loyalty, and openness.

Being open about the foundation of what you’re looking for in a relationship is vital to the longevity of the relationship. One thing I’ve had to keep revisiting in my relationship is the friends of opposite-sex relations. Are they necessary? Should you be limited on who you can and cannot talk to? Or is the idea itself extreme? An overly friendly person may not be good to a relationship. Communicating with your partner can take a lot of insecurities, questions, or jumping to conclusions away from a boggling mind of confusion. When these conversations are had and there seems to be too much damage done as a result, enough is most likely enough.

#5. Do your friends, family and loved ones agree?

Although you may think, "what my friends and family say doesn't matter or have to do with my happiness", the thoughts of the people close to you play a part in the sustainability of a relationship. You should be invited to the family gatherings and feel like family. When family members disapprove of relationships it creates tensions. You may be torn between the person you “love” and choosing if missing out on love should replace family. Would keeping your relationship a secret from your family, make it feel any easier? In fact, it won’t, much harder if you ask me. Sometimes, loves blinds us and someone who shares a similar interest may see from a distance something we don’t, it is important to take in consideration thoughts of those that are close unless its pure hatred or unexplainable demise. That would be a bone to stifle with, in that case, enough may be enough.

Overall, forgiveness is a self-act that helps not only the person of wrongdoing but the sustainment of one’s identity. Added stressors eventually impact health issues, sleep, and attitude. Let go of those grudges and move one. Once you measure when enough is enough, keep it cordial and cut loose those dead ends. Until next time, keep #livingoutloud!

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)