The Real Reasons Why Girls Go To The Bathroom Together

No matter the social setting, when one girl mentions she’s going to the bathroom, a whole cliché follows. Why do girls feel the need to go to the bathroom in groups? It’s definitely not because our bladders are on the same schedule. For those of you who are baffled by this mystery, let us break it down for you.

It’s the perfect place to gossip. Asking your friend to go to the bathroom is code for “I really need to tell you something I can’t say in front of these people.”

Primping, Primping, Primping! You need your friends to go to the bathroom with you so you can borrow their makeup and they can tell you if your hair looks good or not.

Boy Talk. You spot a cutie and your friend mentions she knows him. Off to the bathroom you girls go! You need to know everything about him and your friends need to spill the beans. Who is he? What’s his name? Does he have a girlfriend? What are your chances? The bathroom is the number one place we go to get the down low on our latest attraction.

Quiet Time. You’re pretty sure you lose your hearing every time you go to the bar or the club. Although your night is filled with dancing and drinking, there’s always something that happens you need to tell your friend ASAP. The typical conversation goes, “I need to tell you something” “What?” “What did you say?” “I CAN”T HEAR YOU!” “Let’s go to the bathroom.” The ladies room is the perfect get-away for a quick chat with your girls.

Pep Talk. Once you are where you can hear yourself, you need that pep talk from your friend. Is he cute? Should you go for it? You need that little confidence boost from a bathroom pep talk before you go for your crush.

Sharing Alcohol. This is a tradition as old as time. Ladies, we are notorious for sneaking alcohol in our purses and chugging drinks in the bathroom. Come on, it’s not lady-like to do it in public.

Escape. The token creepy old guy won’t stop winking at you or that freshmen keeps trying to dance. This is when you give your friend the look and she instantly knows it is time for a bathroom break. The one place weirdos can’t/shouldn’t follow you to is the ladies room; it’s our own little save haven.

Sweating. We’ve all tried to gracefully dab away the sweat at our hairline and pretend to scratch our nose when we have a glistening upper lip. It just doesn’t work. Girls are human, and we sweat too. The bars and clubs get super hot with all of the body heat circulating, plus you are wearing your “Booze Sweater”. The bathroom is a perfect place to go when you are sweating like a sinner in church; you can safely do the hair flip and fan yourself off without people staring at you and thinking you have turned into some sort of beast.

Fix the Chicken Cutlets. You know those sticky bras that are made of two pieces of pale, synthesized rubber? After sweating from dropping it on the dance floor, those little chicken cutlet boob pads don’t stay where they are intended to be. The bathroom is a safety zone for girls to fix all of their wardrobe malfunctions. The second you step foot in a women’s bathroom, all rules go out the window; shirts go up and skirts come down as you fix your clothes and put things back in their place. Every girl needs her friend in there to tell her if she has any toilet paper stuck to her stiletto or some serious VPL (that’s short for visible panty lines, for those of you who don’t know)

Heart-to-Hearts. A women’s bathroom is literally a scene from Days of Our Lives. You open the door and you have one girl crying about the death of her cat and another about her single and broke quarter life crisis. The bathroom is the go to place to pour your heart out to all of your friends after too many Long Islands. It’s like therapy, except you don’t have to sit in a creepy chair and talk to a bearded man.  

Reality Check. Sometimes you just need a flat out reality check. Instead of calling you out in front of the entire bar, your best friend will yank you in to the secret garden, aka the bathroom. This is where your friends take away the flask you snuck in and tell you to pull yourself together, kindly reminding you, “you don’t want this night to end up like the one where you slept in the bushes.”

Single Ladies Vacation. There is nothing worse than going out to the bars and watching couples stare into each other’s eyes through the strobe lights and fog machines all night. The bathroom is like a mini-vacation where all of the single girls go to bond over…well, being single.

Confessional. Your friends think you are being social awkward, but you really just have a bad sneak-attack drunk. You were fine two seconds ago, but all the sudden the guy in the turtleneck is starting to look kind of cute. Before it gets too late, slip away to the bathroom with your friends in tow and tell them that you are more drunk than you had initially intended to get, and it is their duty to be sure that you don’t do anything stupid throughout the night.

FOMO. Some very essential things happen the bathroom and you don’t want to miss them -- not a single tampon change or break-up story. It doesn’t matter if you have heard the story five times, you still don’t want to miss it.  Plus, the best candid pics always happen in the bathroom mirror, and you don’t want to be left out of those.

No Friend Left Behind. It’s your worst nightmare – you muster up the courage to go to the bathroom by yourself, you come out and your friends are gone… every single one. It’s like the movie Taken, except this time it was your six best friends and the kidnapper was Leo the taxi man.