I don’t normally wear my heart on my sleeve. I don’t normally write about my love life. And I definitely don’t normally fall in love so easily.
But with you, it’s different. I saw something special in you the moment I met you…. Two years ago. You’ve become my best friend, the person I tell everything to. And I want the best for you, even if it isn’t me in the end.
So as I sit here writing this in the hoodie that still smells like you, I can’t stop myself from wondering if you’re thinking about me too. Does every song you hear remind you of me, like it does for me? Do you smile when your phone lights up with my name on it? Are you afraid of losing me like I’m afraid to lose you?
It hurts me that you’re afraid to tell your friends about me when I would shout it from the rooftops. My friends tell me it’s because you’re immature, or because you need to figure yourself out first. But I know the truth– I understand why it’s not the right time.
You’ve had your heart broken, and you want to be the one who picks up the pieces.
You’re so stubborn, but that’s one of the reasons I’m crazy about you. You’re independent and strong, and you’re afraid to rely on anyone to be the source of your own happiness. I admire you for that.
And I’ll wait for you. Regardless of how long it takes.
Sometimes I feel like I am being left in the dark. I’m afraid I’m holding on to nothing. But I see some kind of a future with you. You bring out the best in me and make me want to be the person you deserve.
I don’t care about the label. I really don’t. I think the reason I want it as much as I do is because sometimes it’s so hard to not say those three words when you’re holding me in your arms, or when you’re talking about your love for your family, or when we’re talking about life and what comes after. And you always give me this look that makes me weak.
But I know at the end of the day, it will be worth the wait. Even if it’s not me in the end, I’m thankful for the moments we’ve shared and the connection we had. I hope you find the happiness and the love you deserve. Just remember you’ll always be my best friend.
But I hope it’s me because it will always be you.
Love,
Your biggest fan