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Friend Zone vs. Love Zone

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at C Mich chapter.

 

 The question every girl wants to know the answer to: am I in the “Friend Zone”? And it’s quickly followed by: once in the Friend Zone, is it possible to get out? They seem like easy questions, but no one wants to take the leap to actually ask them. Instead, we’re all sitting around, reading into imaginary signs, and trying to find meaning behind texts that aren’t supposed to have any meaning at all.

 After all, no girl wants to be the Stage 5 Clinger, but also doesn’t want to be the girl who misses out on chances right in front of her. So, is there any way to figure it out without having to ask? The answer is no, unless you are a mind reader and in that case, you wouldn’t be asking the question in the first place!

 So, I decided to take one for the team. Someone has to be the one to ask those regrettable questions, without the fear of making a fool of themselves. After chatting with a small pool of CMU guys, here’s the break down of what’s up!

 

How does one fall into the Friend Zone?

·   The guys say a girl can fall into the Friend Zone a number of different ways. The most prominent way is when a girl doesn’t act like herself and tries too hard. The guys say that it’s cool that the girl is putting in an effort to get to know them, so they’re friend-worthy, but that’s not the type of girl they want to start any type of relationship with, because the main point is: it’s not real. *Special note the guys wanted to add: “We can tell when you pretend to like sports, so don’t do it! We will know!”

·   Another factor that forces a girl into the Friend Zone is competition and the impression of having no feelings. They said they hate to admit it, but a certain level of competition that a girl exerts can really put them off. If the girl is always competing with the guy, whether it’s jokes, movie trivia, or sports they start to see them as a “bro” and not as attractive. “All these girls are claiming they have no feelings, and I just see that as you want to be a guy,” said one of our guys. Guys don’t care if a girl has feelings, but they care if you say you don’t and you really do!

 

Once in the Friend Zone, can a girl get out? And if so, how hard is it to get out?

·   It depends on the girl and the situation, but majority of the guys said girls can get out of the Friend Zone pretty easily, because after all, they are guys and don’t read too much into it.

·   A girl can easily get out of the Friend Zone by being herself and changing her view on the situation. You don’t always have to confess your love to the guy in order for them to think of you that way. The guys say that even if they do Friend Zone a girl, it doesn’t mean they never look at you in a different way –that’s how best friends sometimes turn into couples! More times than not, if a girl likes a guy, the guy can tell, whether he admits it or not. *Special note from the guys: don’t rule yourself out right away if you like us, sometimes it takes us longer to get the hint.

 

Are there any signs a girl should be on the look out for to determine Friend Zone status?

·   Guys are pretty straight forward, if he’s interested in you, he will make an effort. If a guy texts you first and asks you to hang out, with out the girl trying to make it happen, then the guy is into you. Just because a guy carries on a conversation and avoids one-worded responses, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s interested, you might just be a friend.

·   10 Sure-fire signs that mean you’re Friend Zoned:

1.  The topic of conversation is always about what just happened or what happened that day

2.  They never ask to hang out one-on-one, but are up for meeting up or group activities

3.  When you see them they ruffle your hair or give you a kid-punch in the shoulder

4.  When they talk to you their shoulders aren’t square with yours and their feet are not pointed at you

5.  They make inappropriate jokes right in front of you, or talk about other girls in front of you

6.  The only time they’re engaged in conversation is when you’re being funny

7.  They talk to you like they talk to their friends, example: “what up dude?”

8.  When you invite them places they bring a friend

9.  They use the word “friend” whenever they can, example: “you’re such a good friend”

10.   There’s no physical contact whatsoever, besides the occasional hug, and there’s never compliments on how you look

 

Source: http://marcellapurnama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/friend-zone.jpg

Alex Puzzolo is a junior at Central Michigan University. She is majoring in Integrative Public Relations and minoring in Leadership. She is an active member in her sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma, by holding Executive Board positions. Alex is a Co-founder of the Central Michigan University chapter of Her Campus. She is from Mundelein, IL and loves to travel. She has been to multiple countries and just recently completed an internship in Ireland. An interesting fact about Alex is that she has worked in a jewelery store for the past two years and is certified member of the Gemology Institute of America.