With songs coming out like Ariana Grande’s “Break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored,” there’s no doubt that there’s something wrong with our dating culture. It’s so disheartening that things like cheating and hook ups are widely accepted. I get it, it’s college and we’re supposed to have fun. But whatever you do, don’t catch feelings or you’re going to get hurt.
The “Talking” Phase
Where THE FUCK did this concept even come from? It is SUCH a grey area and means different things to different people. If you aren’t ready to be in a relationship with someone and don’t want to be exclusive, try casually dating. Instead of texting the person you are “talking to” every day and night, and treating them like you would treat a significant other, try being open and honest about seeing other people. Dating is supposed to be fun! But it’s not when you’re on the short end of things and your partner is unwilling to commit to you and you don’t understand why.
Because We SUCK at Communicating
I’ve burned a lot of bridges in relationships because I don’t believe in being passive aggressive. I say what’s on my mind so my partner will know when they did something that bothered me, rather than giving them the silent treatment or ignoring them. Because in my mind, talking things through is ESSENTIAL to getting over things. I’ve had guy friends tell me it’s every guy’s dream to have a girl that’s not passive aggressive. But when it comes down to it, guys can’t handle the heat of being called out on their bullshit. Which I don’t get. Like please, call me out on mine too.
Tinder
Tinder isn’t all bad. I have a few friends who met their SO’s on Tinder and they are now in happy, healthy relationships. Tinder can be a great way to meet people if you struggle with striking up conversations in person.
HOWEVER, Tinder is infamously known as a hook-up app. And ultimately, that is what a lot of people use it for. It’s something that often comes between two people. And if you’re in the so-called talking phase, it sucks when you find out the person you were crazy about was also talking to girls on Tinder because you guys weren’t ‘technically’ in a relationship.
Social Media in General
To be honest, it makes you feel like crap. I’ve had boyfriends in the past who liked photos on Instagram of half naked girls. Yeah, it’s a stupid “like” but it still kind of gives you a pit in the bottom of your stomach. And then, you want to go subtweet them on Twitter in hopes they see it. Doesn’t sound very healthy, if you ask me.
Friends with Benefits
It’s impossible not to catch feelings. Enough said.
Chivalry is Unfortunately Dead
I’m not saying you should pay for my dinner. We’re all broke college kids. But whatever happened to knocking on the door when you go to pick someone up for a date, instead of just shooting them a text from the driveway saying “I’m here.” What happened to sweet gestures, like writing notes or flowers? What happened to calling people beautiful rather than smoke shows? Effort is SO attractive and our current dating culture just isn’t about that.
Lack of Loyalty
It seems like cheating is so normalized these days. But why is cheating even a thing? If you’re unhappy in a relationship, just leave. If you’re staying in it because you think you’re never going to find anyone better, you’re probably right, you scum.
Dating and relationships are supposed to be fun. It’s our dating culture that makes them complicated and stressful. Is it really that hard to treat someone kindly and with respect?