To the Boy who “Ruined” my Thoughts on Relationships,
A tale as old as time: girl meets boy, boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy…. You know the rest. This isn’t a cliché rant about how men suck or how boys can’t grow into men, more-so my reasoning as to why I’ll never see a relationship the same way I did before. I guess you could say it was a learning experience. I got my heart broken, and I was always the heartbreaker.
Call me a modern-day John Tucker, but I was never a sucker for love. This all changed when I met the epitome of my dream boy. He had all of the attributes that I always searched for, except one; communication. This whirlwind of a relationship ended on the basis of communication. Now let me tell you, we both could talk the talk. Put us in any social setting and we can talk to anyone about anything. Yet when it came down to us communicating, we couldn’t do it. More often than not, love stories end with a romantic letter spilling our their emotions, but I’m here to tell you that letters suck. Our relationship ended with two letters; one from me and one from him. We sat in a parking lot and for the first time of our six-month relationship, we talked. Communication was flowing, as were the tears, and we both left with heavy hearts and snot filled noses. Two days later, he had another girl.
The healing process is different for everyone, but let me tell you, I had more than enough words to communicate in that moment. The point that I’m trying to get at is, I lost hope. I lost hope that one day I would find my significant other. I lost hope that one day I’d be able to communicate so freely and openly with someone and not feel unnoticed or stupid for expressing my emotions.
This boy ruined my thoughts on relationships, but also helped me. He helped me realize that relationships are not like every Nicholas Sparks movie or late 80s rom-com. He helped me grow as an individual and find my voice for my next relationship. So here’s to the boy who “ruined” my thoughts on relationships: thank you. Without you, I would have never found my voice or preference, or be in the happy relationship with myself that I am now. You taught me that being dependent on a man is no way to live a life, nor is thinking a relationship will be like the movies. Word to the public: a broken heart doesn’t always need to result in a broken person. #closure