Everyone get excited. It’s that time of the year. The holidays…and even worse the dreaded long drive home, where I am surrounded by people who are oblivious to road rules for a little over three hours. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays as much as the next person. I love spending time with my family, eating endless food, and getting a few weeks off from the stress of school.
What sucks the most for me though is that I basically couldn’t live any closer to the north pole. So my drive home isn’t always the smoothest. The roads are already in need of some serious repavement, but during the holidays you add college kids heading home for break and tourists heading to the Upper Peninsula, as if it’s so appealing covered in 10ft of snow, on top of the regular townies. It’s a mess. You have people speeding, driving 90 MPH in a 75, really giving zero thought to those around them, and then you have those driving 40 MPH who look like they’re one blink away from falling asleep. Overall, it’s just mass confusion. I’m lucky if I can keep my cruise on for more than 5 minutes. It’s terrifying, truly.
Here’s some common thoughts I have (and you have probably had as well) when making the long trek home for the holidays.
Use! Your! Turn! Signal!
PLEASE. It’s not that hard. You barely have to move your hand. Unless you want me to hit you, just give me some type of warning please.
Stay. In. Your. Lane.
If you get even remotely close to my car, expect the bird. Even if you consider yourself a bad driver, you can do the bare minimum and stay within the lines.
Get off your phone.
Don’t text and drive. Just don’t. If not for your own safety, then consider the safety of those around you. Also, it’s really obvious when you are. You are seriously the only person driving 55 on the highway, swerving, and everyone is passing you. Just pull over if it’s that important.
Get off my ass.
If you really think I’m driving that slow, just go around me. I really do not understand the concept of tailgating someone when you’re driving on the highway. There’s a passing lane for a reason. And frankly, it’s annoying and pisses people off.
Use your cruise control.
For the love of God nothing makes me more angry than when people get tap happy on the gas pedal. They’re going 55 so you pass, and the next second they’re flying by you at a solid 90. Make up your mind people, I’m sick of making awkward eye contact with you every time we pass each other.
I know for a fact it isn’t just me feeling this way, so if you happen to fall into any of these categories of drivers, just know you’re probably on the shit list of several people and you really are the worst type of person to share the road with. It’s the holiday season and I’m trying to be all holly and jolly and what not so please just stop pushing my buttons.