30 Years Searching for a Father


Patricia spent the first 20 years of her life with a nurturing dad, James, that helped to teach her everything she knew. Her mother had left when she was just a little girl and it was time for Patricia’s dad to step up. James taught her everything he could and did his best to raise a girl growing up with a single dad in the ‘70s and ‘80s. Her dad provided for her through elementary school and on into her college career. It was just the two of them trying to get through this world, until his passing when Patricia was in her 20s. She could hardly bear the passing of her dad, the man who made her who she is today.

However, soon after she learned that the man who held her since she was a newborn and raised her by himself, was not her biological father. An aunt had accidentally broken the truth to Patricia after James’s death. Patricia could not believe that her dad wasn’t really her father and this turned her world upside down. How could it be? He had raised her from her first memories.

She contacted her mother, Mazie, who was already living a new life with her new child and husband states away. Her mother refused to tell Patricia who the mystery father really was. But she did admit to marrying James and covering up that he wasn’t Patricia’s real father. When the couple met James agreed to raise Patricia as his own and take care of her mother, until Mazie decided to abandon them. Mazie was only 19-years-old when Patricia was born and James was much older and able to support them both. Mazie needed someone to help her because the real father would not, or at least that is one of the lies she told Patricia.

Patricia searched for years and still could not find any clues about who her biological father was and Mazie was no help either. Even on Mazie's deathbed, Patricia pleaded that her mother admit who her real father was. Unfortunately, Mazie died with a vow of silence, leaving Patricia at a dead end. But she still never stopped searching for him.

Hours, days, months, and finally years, were spent searching on Ancestry.com for any clues from her genetic information that could help her discover who her real father was. After many years of late-night hours devouring information, she got a genetic match with someone many states away. It was a first cousin on her biological father's side. This was the closest Patricia had come to finding him. To confirm her suspicions she hired a professional who checked the information and genetics. Patricia was then finally able to pinpoint  and confirm who her real father was.

She had finally found him, after nearly 30 years of searching she finally was able to know who her real biological father was. “It's weird, scary, exciting, and frustrating all at the same time,” she said after finding him. He was married and already had 6 children with his wife at the time when Patricia was conceived. Her biological father was only a couple states away from her now and luckily still alive at 91-years-old. She could finally meet the man she spent more than half her life searching for.