Why I Hate Bonsai Trees pt. 2

As I sit here, nervous as hell, waiting to get called in for my French oral exam, I see no better use of my time than writing part 2 of this piece. If you haven’t read part 1, ehh I mean you really don’t need to read it. I’ll link it here anyway, just in case you also share my hatred for these tiny tree imposters.

Let’s get to it, shall we?

Look at the tree. Look at me. Now look back at the tree again. NOW SCREAM CUS ITS THE MOST TERRIFYING THING YOU’VE EVER SEEN!

(I’d like to imagine this is what all of you look like rn)

If you don’t enjoy screaming about bonsai trees, leave now. There’s no escaping what’s to come.

~TRIGGER WARNING~

I will now show you more pictures of bonsai trees and describe just why they are the most horrifying, stupid plants in the entire world. Leave while you still can.

Why are you falling over, you weird fuck?

What are you pointing at? Why is one of your arms so much longer than the other? I have so many questions?

This one’s floating? NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.

This one grew a whole ass fruit? HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?

This one has legs. LITERAL LEGS.

HOW DID YOU GET LIKE THIS? HOW? EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS UNNATURAL.

Is it like falling out of the bowl? And also why do some of those branches look dead inside?

Bonsai trees are weird and creepy. I state my case. Never look one dead in the eyes, they’ll reach their long creepy roots into your soul.

K bye.

~Bonsai h8r

• Gardening
• scary