To the girl who’s curious about Brazilians, but is too scared to get one~
Ladies, I present to you my inside look/guide/review/experience/report of the Brazilian wax.
Ok, I’ll start by giving you a little background on why I decided to get a brazilian in the first place.
So a good pal of mine and I were driving back to campus after our fall break and somehow we landed on the topic of Brazilian waxes. Neither of us had ever gotten one (I had never had anything waxed), so we said fuck it and decided to get them.
I did some reasearch on a few places around me, read the reviews, talked to the only girl I know that’s gotten a Brazilian, all that fun stuff. I came across the European Wax Center. They’re reasonably priced and had great reviews. Good enough for me.
One of my favorite things about the European Wax Center is the fact that you can make your appointment online. This is great for people like me who are socially awkward and absolutely hate talking to people on the phone.
They also do this fantastic thing where your first wax is free which is super cool if you’re a broke ass college student like me. I’m not completely sure how it works cus I got half off my wax (I’m thinking you probably get a free eyebrow wax or something small like that. So Brazilians are usually $50, but I got mine for only $25 which is just bomb as all get out).
~Okay now to the good stuff~
PHASE ONE- The Beforehand
Okay so you’ve made your appointment, what next?
You’re supposed to stop shaving down there about two weeks before you go, so don’t shave down there for a good bit. The hairs have to be as long as a grain of rice so the wax can adhere to them and then viciously rip them from your skin. Be sure not to put any lotion or oils or anything on or near your vagina they day before/on the day of the appointment either.
PHASE TWO- The Arrival
Don’t pretend like you’re not nervous, you’re going to be nervous, it’s gonna happen whether you like it or not. A strange lady is going to put hot wax on your vagina and then rip it off, it’s a weird concept.
I always say arrive to an appointment about five minutes early, do the same for this. Also, wear loose comfy pants and your super cottony granny pantie period undies. Trust me, you’re gonna want to put on something soft and comfy post vagina hair being ripped off.
My check-in experience was great. The lobby waiting room place thing was stunning. White marble tiles, clean lines, and wonderfully sweet spa smells. I was very impressed.
The receptionists were so super sweet and incredibly knowledgable. They asked about different medications I was on as to be sure nothing would cause a reaction with the wax or make the skin more sensitive, things like that. They told to just relax and let my esthetician handle everything.
This most definitely helped me relax a good bit, I can’t say the same for my darling pal. She’s a nervous talker and talked the ears off the receptionists while I sat on the plush lobby chairs laughing to myself.
PHASE THREE- ITS HAPPENING
So you’ll nervously sit for like five minutes (it’ll feel like twelve years the first time, I swear) and your esthetician will call your name and your heart will drop for a quick second before you realize that this chick is super sweet and is going to do everything she can to help your experience be as quick and painless as humanly possible.
You’ll get escorted into this small room that kinda looks like a doctor’s office but way more chill. There’s the bed chair thing with the gross doctor paper and then the wax station with all the wax and oils and lotions and shit. Side note- it smelled amazing.
Alright, so the nice lady will be stirring the wax in the corner and will casually turn to you and say “okay, everything off from the waist down.” You’ll proceed to strip from the waist down. I swear to god this is the most uncomfortable part ‘cus well I mean you’re getting half naked in front of this gal you’ve know for five minutes.
You’ll then waddle to the table bed thing with your vagina just out, and she’ll tell you to lay down on your back.
It gets worse, I’m just gonna tell you straight up.
Your esthetician pal will then tell you to put your legs in the butterfly position (i.e. spread eagle down yonder).
~and so it begins~
PHASE FOUR- The Removal
It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for… the actual thing… the waxing.
Your gal pal will start out by cleaning the area (essentially wiping all corners of your vagina with a cool cleansing cloth). At this point this lady has already made eye contact with your hooha, you might as well relax. I know it sounds hard, but things are gonna go a lot smoother if you just stay calm.
My esthetician talked me through the entire process beforehand and while it was happening and honestly it totally kept me relaxed. I’m totally one of those people that reacts to tone of voice so a calming female voice was appreciated.
Okay, you’re all cleaned up and ready to go… now time for the wax.
The wax will be applied to different sections at different times, not all at once (which I had previously thought), starting with the bikini line and going down. The wax is warm, almost hot, but I thought it felt really nice and relaxing.
Now we wait. It takes 1-2 minutes for the wax to harden full. During this time I suggest avoiding eye contact with your esthetician… I accidentally did it a few times and trust me, it was suuuuuper awkward.
It’s time for the removal…
Don’t get all tense, it’s just gonna make things worse. You can kinda gauge about when it’s going to happen, your esthetician will tap on the wax a few different times to make sure it’s hard enough to be removed.
She’ll pull up a tiny bit and then go for it. Right after she rips the wax off she’ll put her hand on the area to cool it and add pressure. TBH it really doesn’t help all that much.
The actual act of pulling off the wax made this really strange ripping sound. I was not aware it was going to do that. Not a fan.
Moving on. This process will repeat five or six times (more or less depending on the amount of hair you have and how much is willing to come out with each strip of wax).
I’ll now list the most painful parts, from most painful to least.
Bikini line and right below (hurt like a literal bitch oh my good lord)
The skin in between your leg and your labia
The labia themselves
The butt hole
Yes, the butt wax was in fact the least painful. I was as shocked as you are. Trust me.
I was also surprised at how oddly okay I was with hot wax on my butt followed by its swift removal. It almost kind of vaguely felt a little bit good? I don’t know man, it was weird.
PHASE FIVE- Post
So after all the hair is removed, your esthetician will put this fancy essential oil on all of the freshly waxed skin to prevent ingrown hair and decrease any redness and inflammation (it smelled amazing).
You’ll also get anointed with all these random lotions and other good smelling things (you get free samples of the good smelling things). You’ll then put your pants back on, thank your new pal who’s now seen more of your body than most anyone ever will, and debrief at a nearby Panera with your gal pal who’s still nervous laughing for some reason.
I’m not a very exciting person and I typically don’t do “crazy” things like this, but I have to say I’m glad I did. As much as it hurt to get the hair literally ripped from my vagina, I think the pain was worth it. My dear friend and I both felt very fresh and clean post hair removal. Also everything down yonder is just so damn soft now. They tell you to get the procedure done every 4-6 weeks, but as a broke college student, I’m not really sure I have the budget for that. I did some internet investigating and it turns out you can go back whenever you need, just try really hard not to shave in between waxes because then the hair will grow back thicker, and if you’re anything like me, you’re soooooo over that. Essentially, just go when you feel like it.
I’d say overall the experience was pleasant, fast, and easy. I give it a solid 8/10. I will be back European Wax Center, I will be back (when my bank account can allot for it).
So my pals, there you go, my Brazilian experience.
Over and out,