The Signs as Assorted Items Inside My Car

As we now know, I am an astrology master. And I enjoy a frequent tagging of oneself, especially in really niche ways. So I’ve decided to assign the signs according to one of the subjects I know best.


Aries- Ice-scraper


Taurus- A broken pair of sunglasses


Gemini- An old pair of glasses with the prescription expired that I had to wear once because I left my current glasses at school and brought no contacts home with me like a FOOL


Cancer- The 1996 Fiona Apple album “Tidal” on CD


Leo- A Butler Arts Center straw cup I borrowed from my best friend and still haven’t given back


Virgo- A neon buffalo plaid throw blanket with holes in it (just in case I get stranded and it’s cold)


Libra- receipts upon receipts upon receipts


Scorpio- An old birthday card envelope that used to hold picture of my ex-boyfriend that I eventually threw out at a gas station on I-74


Sagittarius-The 2008 Ida Maria album “Fortress ‘Round My Heart” on CD


Capricorn- A small Ziploc bag that had a sandwich in it that I ate on my way to work


Aquarius- A stuffed Porg that used to cling to the inside of my window but fell off and I kinda just kept him in there


Pisces- An old, old orphaned french fry