Dearest ladies,
Welcome to the club! I couldn’t say no if it saved my life. Today I want to share a little bit of my story, and my conclusion for all you ladies who can’t seem to say no.
Here is a little background on me. From the time I was in eighth grade until April of my senior year in high school, I had one goal: get an appointment to the United States Air Force Academy (USAFA). Now, if you aren’t aware, USAFA is a prestigious US military academy in Colorado Springs, Colorado. USAFA has just over 4,000 cadets and a 12% acceptance rate. The application process is quite the process. It includes a medical exam, a fitness test, typical college application essay questions/resume information, an interview and a congressional nomination which includes its own application and interview process. So it’s safe to say that only the best of the best of the best head to USAFA. When I hit high school, I decided I was going to be a part of everything. Not only would I be a part of everything, but I needed to be a leader in everything. So that is what I did and the truth is, while I loved (nearly) everything I did in high school, the purpose of it all was to get an appointment to USAFA spring of my senior year, and because only the best of the best of the best get into USAFA, that is what I wanted to be. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being passionate, excited, determined or involved. I am still all of those things despite (spoiler!) not having gotten into USAFA. However, in my junior year, I had to say no to something and it killed me. At the time, I was running for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Students of the Year campaign, a seven-week initiative where students aimed to raise the most amount of money for LLS. Ultimately, I raised $63,107 and together, just nine students raised $380,000. This was undoubtedly a full-time job. However, you could also catch me on the pitch as captain of our rugby team, participating in Carmel DECA and preparing to be Carmel DECA’s 2019-2019 Executive Vice President. Oh, and I was a full-time student. I am incredibly proud of all these achievements, but I couldn’t do anything else. I tried… I was a staff member of our school’s broadcast journalism program throughout high school, and a senior reached out to me about a documentary he was helping to direct outside of school. I had done some event planning and organizing before and he wanted me to be a part of the team. I was eager to get started but quickly realized there was no way I could do this. I literally did not have the time. So, I said no. This documentary ended up becoming a pretty big deal with an incredible performance at the Heartland Film Festival. I remember looking back and thinking “What the heck Reagan? You should have figured it out!” That right there is the mark of a girl who can’t say no. My second thought, however, was “Thank God I said no. I could not have given that team the 110% it deserved.”
Fast forward and I still can’t say no. As mentioned earlier, I didn’t receive an appointment to USAFA. It was really hard because I know where my weaknesses in the application were, and I got cut in the final round. I am so proud and happy to be here at Butler University, but I can’t help but wonder “what if” sometimes.
So here I find myself nearing one month into my college experience, looking at an insanely busy week. In true fashion, I am involved in an abundance of clubs and have already found my way into leadership positions in three of them. I literally love it. For the first time in five years, I am doing something for the sole purpose that it’s what I want to do. I’ve realized something that is changing my perspective. Everyone talks about getting involved, but not too involved. It sounds weird, but think about it. Get involved, but don’t overwork yourself. My counter argument is that college is about experiences. My mom asked me if I was doing too much, and I thought about this a lot. My conclusion? I am paying a crap ton of money to be here, so you better bet I’m going to get my money’s worth.
At the end of the day, it’s up to you. It is really hard to say no sometimes, but you have to. I’m trying to look at things with the approach of A.) why am I doing this and B.) can I do this justice. It has been quite a journey to be here, but I am so glad to have gone through every single thing I did. Ultimately, I think it’s about knowing yourself. It’s about knowing where your boundaries are and how to challenge yourself without hurting yourself. It’s about knowing how to take care of yourself and the team of people you are with. My open letter to girls who can’t say no? You go, girl! But, when you find yourself slowing, reevaluate. You’ll be glad you did. Saying no sucks, but it has its place. Find your support system, I couldn’t have done any of what I did without my family and my best friend. Find people who inspire you to say yes, but remind you it’s okay to stop and smell the roses! And in the famous words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Sincerely,
A fellow girl who can’t say no