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This is My Audition to Write for Co-Star

Her Campus, you’ve treated me well. But I think it’s time to gain experience writing for another digital platform read almost exclusively by the college woman with “himalayan salt lamp” in her Google search history.

Maybe it’s my Aries rising talking, but I think I can write just as good a sassy daily affirmation as any other boba-tea philosopher working for the app right now. Hey Co-Star, I can ghost-write  some cryptic-ass white lady notifications.


“It’s okay to admit that the people who are no longer in your life brought you happiness.”


“You expel more chaos than you give yourself credit for.”


“Make a choice your future self will think was kind of meh.”


“Start typing a Snapchat message to your ex and immediately stop as soon as they see.”


“Practice radical authenticity by turning your read receipts back on.”


“Wear your favorite pair of underwear today.”


“Meditate on your relationship with sparkling water.”


“Even with your shoelaces tied, your heartstrings may still lay unfurled.”


“Do you spend too much time thinking about your own arms?”


“Remember when your friend ignored your message in the group chat and “!!!” reacted to someone else’s? Rest in that feeling today.”


“Kacey Musgraves isn’t your actual mom. She probably won’t answer your phone calls.”


“There’s a time to listen to your heart, your head, and the 2-inch hair on your right ankle you keep missing when you shave.”


“Shake things up today. Make Google Chrome NOT your default browser.”


“Switching brands of concealer will not improve your terrible taste in men.”


“Listen to your inner child, and also your inner felt finger puppet of Hermie, the pre-dentistry elf from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”


“Nothing’s wrong with being a misfit. Just don’t immediately try to bond with every girl with a pixie haircut in your classes. None of them will get it.”


“Resist the temptation to compare yourself with the mysterious chanteuse in the Panera Bread logo.”


“Don’t leave your soul on read today.”

Kait Wilbur is an aggressively optimistic individual obsessed with sitcoms, indie music, and pop culture in general. She hails from Manito, a rural wasteland in Illinois so small and devoid of life that she took up writing to amuse herself. Kait goes to Butler University to prepare for a career in advertising, but all she really wants to do is talk about TV for a living. You can find her at any given moment with her earbuds in pretending to do homework but actually looking at surrealist memes.
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