Happy September, pals! We’re well into the semester at this point and life is slowly but surely figuring itself out. In my case, this means the return of lunch boxes.
Anyone else having ptsd flashbacks to middle school and matching Vera Bradley lunch boxes with your lunch table? Yeah, me too.
For whatever reason, my dumbass thought it would be a good idea to schedule all of my classes with awkward time gaps in between. Like there’s not enough time for me to go back to my apartment, make lunch and then walk all the way back, but its too much time (and money) to grab a lite bite at Starbucks and hit the road.
Let us now hence the title of this piece… I am now the lunchbox lady.
Now as soon as I found out I was going to have to be the lunchbox lady I did what any logical human would and went straight to verabradley.com. I then realized that those lunch boxes are far too expensive to let a 12 year old flaunt around, then ultimately ruin… let alone a 20 year old.
So I resorted to the next best thing. A $12 lunchbox from the holy grail that is amazon.com (its adorable and looks more like a weird purse than anything so all you lunchbox haters out there can just fuck the fuck off. Here’s the link to it in case anyone wants to match with me).
Catch me walking around campus looking more like a grandma mixed with a 12 year old than ever.
Now that I’ve spent like three paragraphs shitting on lunchboxes(ish), I will now explain why they are perhaps the best invention known to man.
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They keep all your shit like actually cold, which is so much better than just throwing it into your backpack. Have you ever had room temperature greek yogurt? It’s subpar at best.
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You’ve always got food on you. Feeling hungry in your GHS but your scheduled lunch time isn’t until after your chem lab? Nibble on your sandwich… or just eat your entire lunch then and there.
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Walking to class on a 95 degree day? Take the freezy pack out of your lunchbox and use it to cool yourself down. Ignore the states, people are just jealous that they don’t have a dope ass, practical af lunchbox like you.
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Put other shit in it! If your backpack is too full but you forgot to pack your pencil case, just throw it in your lunchbox (provided that it won’t mess with your lunch)
I could go on for hours about the perks of lunch boxes, but there are a few that I really want to delve into.
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They save you so much money! Let’s do some math here for a second (gross, I know). Say you spend around $10 on lunch five days a week each month. We’ll round that to about 22 days. Multiply that by 10 and you get 220. That’s $220 you’re spending each month on a lunch that you could easily make at home. I know you’ve got groceries in your fridge, girl. USE THEM. Tell me you wouldn’t want an extra $220 a month to spend on coffee, or my favorite… wine! I’m serious, your wallet is serious. Everyone will thank you.
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They give you the ability to health-up your lunch style. Sometimes even when you think you’re choosing a super healthy option while eating out, you could be still consuming something not-so-great for you. Those salads on starbucks shelves? Yeah some of those can be up to 600 calories. FOR A SALAD! Insane, I know. Solution? Make your own salad at home. This way, you’re in complete control over everything that’s going into your body at lunchtime. A truly iconic happening.
Alright ladies, do yourselves a favor and invest in a lunchbox, I promise you’ll look absolutely bitchin’
~Lunchbox Lady