The Eternal Conflict


Spring break is fast approaching and if you’re anything like me, that diet/workout plan that you meant to start like a month ago, has yet to begin. Here’s the thing, though, I’m not sure how much I actually care.


I’m at this weird point in my journey to self love and acceptance where I switch back and forth between these two moods constantly:


  1. THE BEACH WILL GET WHATEVER BOD I GIVE IT (eats at least 20 chicken nuggets in one sitting).



  1. My body is a temple and I’m only gonna eat pears and dirt and do yoga every day (does lots of yoga and wears flowy pants).


It’s a problem. I can never actually make up my mind when it comes to going on a diet or working out, or even frickin loving myself.


On one hand, I’m in a constant state of “fuck the patriarchy, I’m gonna eat cake for every meal and be happy with the way I look” Then like two hours later, I’ll lay on the floor and cry ‘cus I hate the size of my jeans. It’s exhausting.



This spews from me having the attention span of a fucking two year old in a TJMaxx (thanks ADHD).


So here’s where I’m at: I’m a healthy(ish) 19 year old with more sarcasm than necessary, I’m very average looking, kinda short, average build, etc. Some days I love myself, other days I ponder just why I exist if I’m going to be so damn miserable all the time. I’ve tried practically everything in the books to lose some weight, but I just don’t have the persistence, nor the determination to make anything happen.


I’ll work out and eat really healthy for like three days, spot a piece of cheesecake, and loudly express my distaste for social norms and pants sizes while shoving the entire thing into my mouth.



It’s a vicious cycle that I kinda feel like runs every aspect of my life? Who knows, this is getting too deep. I gotta bounce before I start getting emotional.


For realz though, if anyone has any tips for breaking cycles of this nature, pls let me know.


Exercise or extra fries?????