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5 Ways I Practice Self Love

Oh man, I am a sucker for love. I want love so bad, and I want it in every form. However, I have never felt like I got enough from my peers and family, and so I was always left feeling unsatisfied, and overall, unwanted.  In the past couple years I have been working on myself-love techniques. I figure if I love myself enough  I will be able to will myself to a better place, and surprisingly it has kind of worked. In the spirit of sharing love, I have decided to write an article on the 5 ways I practice self love.


1. Taking care of my body

This step covers all of the basic things. I never skip a shower for class, nor do I frequent all nighters for tests. Don’t get me wrong, doing these things once in a blue moon isn’t the worst thing one can do for their body. However, I feel like when I start sacrificing basic functions I do to live a normal happy and healthy life that other things in my life will start to tumble as well.

2.  Self-forgiveness

During fall finals I had a motto that started as a joke, but by the end of the week I truly meant the words I said. The motto was, “I forgive myself, and relinquish myself of all blame.”  The second part is a little much since, you know, it was my fault that I didn’t study. However, the first part really kept me afloat that week. “I forgive myself.” I feel like oftentimes not enough people take the time and energy to truly forgive themselves for the things that they did. The day I started to have empathy for my past self, everything stopped feeling so permanent. I no longer feel entitled to all of the burdens of my past. I forgave myself, and so I am free.

3.  Meditation

I am a very impassioned person. I feel all of my emotions ten-fold. When I am angry, I am furious, when I am sad, I am devastated, and when I am happy, I am overjoyed. Now this is all great and dandy when the emotions I am feeling are positive; however, when they are negative they are borderline crippling. In the past, I handled these emotions through unhealthy food, complaining, or drinking. However, I am now starting to handle them with self-reflection, often in the form of meditation. Nine times out of ten when I leave my meditation I feel calmer and usually more positive. Meditation has been a huge coping tool for me, and I am very grateful I found it when I did.

4.  Allowing myself to feel

Going off of the meditation step I think it is important to bring up the fact that I still allow myself to have those negative feelings, I just no longer allow those feelings to control me.  I think oftentimes in society we are taught that pain, sadness, and anger are things that should be fixed. I don’t necessarily agree with that. I think that when one feels a negative emotion they should first seek to control it, but right after, seek to understand and accept it. Allowing myself to feel bad, has significantly reduced the amount of time I actually experience those negative feelings.

5.  I am who I want to be with

I used to dream of perfect dates, and exactly how they would go. I would walk into flowershops and instantly imagine a loved one handing me the daisies, but leave empty handed.  I would argue one of the biggest ways I practice self love is by treating myself how I have always wanted to be treated. I give myself gifts, dates, flowers, and anything else you can imagine.  I regard myself gently, and with empathy. Anything I want to do with someone else, I have learned to do by myself. I deserve better than a life spent waiting on somebody to love me when I have always had the capacity to love myself.

In conclusion, how do I practice self love? Well, I stop wishing things for myself, and start actually doing them. I make myself a priority,  treat myself kindly, and then everything else seems to just fall into place.

Jazmine Bowens is a senior at Butler University. She is a Psychology major with a minor in Neuroscience and the Campus Corespondent for Butler University's Her Campus chapter. When she isn't in class, she's writing poetry, reading romance novels, or hanging out with her friends. Jazmine hopes to one day become an environmental lawyer and a published novelist.
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