For years I was the girl who dressed in all black on February 14th and wanted nothing to do with Valentine’s Day. I made fun of how corny the holiday is, and I thought it was so obnoxious to celebrate people who are dating. It wasn’t until now I noticed how jealous I was of everyone in healthy, loving relationships. Fast forward though a few painful breakups, personal growth, and realizations of self-worth, I’m in an amazing relationship with the man of my dreams. My boyfriend strives to treasure me, spoil me, and give me all the love I deserve. He is everything I could have asked for in a partner and I’m so blessed to have him in my life. Here are 5 things I learned about relationships:
- Manifestation Sets Your Path
My previous relationships were all quite pointless because I never felt like I was getting the effort I was giving. I just couldn’t quite see a long-term future with them, in part because I was scared of ‘jinxing’ the relationship. Now that I look back, I think I couldn’t talk about or plan a future with them because subconsciously I knew there wouldn’t be one. When it feels right, don’t be afraid to talk about or plan for the future, even if you may be scared of getting your hopes up. Anticipate and expect happiness and it will come your way.
2. Identify What You Want and Be Patient
Starting off this school year I was unsure if I wanted to be in a relationship, but I quickly got fed up of all the weekend booty calls and feeling used by boys who didn’t deserve me. I wanted someone who would treasure me, relate to my past, reciprocate my love, and genuinely care about me. If the time is right, the right person will come into your life. Be patient and know that good things take time.
3. Know Your Worth and Don’t Settle for Less
I cannot stand when amazing women who deserve the world ask me questions like ‘why don’t I have a partner… what’s wrong with me… if I’m not married by 25, I’m going to grow old and be a lonely cat lady.’ I get triggered by this because it shows their inability to see their self-worth. You. Are. A. Queen. The quicker you see that, the better. Your standards and expectations will rise, and you’ll be unable to tolerate anyone who treats you less than you deserve.
4. Know How to Identify Red Flags
If there is one thing I noticed in toxic, one-way relationships is the inability to identify and acknowledge wrong doing. I have been guilty of this myself, I have hope that they’ll change or forgive them repeatedly for the same things. Don’t let yourself be used and abused in a relationship. It helps to talk to friends or family about it to get a fresh, outside perspective, because you could be blind or unphased to wrong doing. If something seems off, then it probably is.
5. Communication Is Key
I cannot stress this enough, you need to communicate well with your partner. If something is on your mind, say it. If you need to talk to them about something, spill it. The worst thing you could do is ignore it or put off the conversation. It’s better to be transparent with your partner than to keep how you think or feel from them. Keep it real with them, be honest, and truthful in every conversation with them.