Developing a crush is a foolproof way to ruin my day. I can always feel it when the crush first starts to form. I start getting thoughts like, “Wow, this person is kind of cool. A lil’ cute too.” And then three days later I’m doodling about them. It’s elementary. It’s annoying. It’s happened again. However, this time I am not stopping at the margins of my Psychology notebook. No, I am going to rant about them online. Hopefully, I do it vaguely enough that if they see this they won’t know it was about them, but I probably won’t. Anyway, here is a list of the five reasons having a crush is the worst of all time (WOAT).
1. They are all you think about
It is rude how many of your thoughts your crush will occupy without their knowledge. Any idle time your brain has is reserved for daydreams about them, and you know it is excessive, but you can’t stop. I think this is honestly the worst part because if I am thinking about them I am no longer thinking about the other things I used to enjoy pondering such as, Nicki Minaj lyrics, memes, things I can cook for dinner, the sustainability of veganism etc. I want to reclaim my mind, damn it
2. They probably aren’t thinking about you
HOW DARE YOU. Knowing I am fantasizing about somebody that probably never thinks about my existance is infuriating. It’s like knowing that your rival football team doesn’t consider you their rival back. Every time you sit at home talking about how much you hate the Patriots someone in New England is saying “ The Colts? Don’t have an opinion.” And it eats you alive. You just want to scream “Care about me, damn it!” But you can’t, and they don’t, and that sucks.
3. They 100% aren’t perfect, but they sure do seem like it
I know my crush can’t be perfect because nobody is perfect. However, I am not sure what makes them imperfect because I haven’t seen a flaw yet. Y’all they glow. Even when I see something about them I’m not particularly fond of it seems less like a “flaw” and more like a quirk. Like ‘awww look at them being 30 minutes late they are so bad at time uwu’. When I know if anyone else was 30 minutes late I’d have 92 things to say about it.
4. 60% of the time they don’t like you
I don’t want to be pessimistic which is why I am saying 60% instead of 99.9%, but still hear me out. This isn’t a list titled ‘5 Reasons Why Having a Partner is the WOAT’, nor ‘5 Reasons Why ‘The Talking Phase’ is the WOAT’. No, it is about crushes, and unfortunately most of the time crushes are unrequited. And they break your little heart.
5. Nobody cares that they broke your little heart
In my experience, very few people, if any, want to hear about how your crush doesn’t like you back, or how you are finally giving up on them. It’s as if unrequited love = insignificant love. And I just don’t think that’s fair. Just because my crush doesn’t return the feelings doesn’t make mine less significant or valid. No we never dated, but I cared about them. If/when things don’t work out I’ll need a friend, and it really sucks that it will be hard to find one.
Obviously there are a lot of things that stink about having a crush that I left out, but I think these are the ones that are most prevalent for me. Also, even though I know having a crush is terrible for me and my mental health in the long run, I also kind of think that they are a lot of fun. And a small part of me thinks that this one may work out in my favor, I’ll never know if I don’t give it a shot!