I hate to admit it, but I am a screenager. I have my phone with me at all times and get panicked when I cannot find it. Unfortunately, I have the habit of rolling over and opening my phone first thing in the morning. Normally I will immediately open TikTok or Instagram to see what I have missed – or really just to get back into the flow of scrolling. At this point, my brain thinks of audios and memes more often than my class content. However, I mostly use my phone to text or snap, which is my main form of talking to my friends. So, how does my phone also influence the way I interact with others in real life?
Once I had this revelation I realized that I, like many others that I speak to, talk through our phones when conversing with others face-to-face. Meaning, I use relevant trends, recent posts, or memes to start conversation and keep it going. While this is not necessarily a bad thing because it can easily spark discussions, do we rely on it too much? For example, if someone is not with the recent trends or does not use social media it may be hard to connect with that person if they do not understand your usual references. Or can this online knowledge make us miss out discussing certain topics?Â
Additionally, being chronically online can also reduce our understanding of others’ emotions. When we do all of this interacting and sharing online, it is done behind a screen. So, it can be easier to think of this almost like an online bubble where nothing from online can affect what happens in the real world. As a result, people are not afraid to say whatever they want because they feel as though their screen protects them from real world consequences. Also, people may find it difficult to sympathize or have empathy for others when you cannot picture a person behind the screen but see them as a random person on the internet.Â
Due to this, talking through our phones can make us struggle to figure out what the other person is saying without the use of facial cues. We become accustomed to just expecting the other person to understand what we are saying solely based on our words. We learn to process and interpret what others are saying by imagining the tone a person is using and pulling ideas from our real world interactions on how we think this text, chat, etc. is supposed to sound. It is easy to misunderstand a person’s tone and causes each person in the conversation to walk away with a different idea of what was said. For that reason, throwing facial cues into the mix of conversing with others in person can be anxiety-inducing for others since they are not used to reading these cues. Due to this uncomfortableness, people can shy away from talking about certain things or make it harder for them to relate to what their friend is saying if they cannot understand their tone and facial expressions.Â
Social media does not only affect conversation, but also the very way that we perceive others–and the way they perceive us. Online personalities do not stop at cutting the humanness of speaking person-to-person, it allows us to portray only specific parts of our lives, and almost enter a new persona.
Being online gives us a taste of seeing a life that is not ours – but it also gives a craving to be perfect. We are only human; we want to be the best, but it’s not realistic. Unless it is – online we can show a good version of ourselves, whether that is funny, or pretty, or cool, we get to control what we post. You can be the best version of yourself online, and everyone only sees that version of you. I will be the first to say, I love posting on Instagram because I love seeing my life in the little boxes, opening them and remembering the good times. I post purely for my own satisfaction. But, I also know it is only parts of my life. I try to be authentic, but it is not a perfect representation. I think everyone has this problem. For example, talk to anyone and they will tell you they get stressed posting, but also talk to anyone and they will tell you how little they actually watch what others post.Â
Personally, I think the most important thing is to differentiate yourself online and just live for fun. I love my spam accounts because it feels like a genuine way to communicate with my friends. I also think there is something cool about how connected as a world we are with social media. The information we can hear from people living in different parts of the world, or that we went to high school with makes us feel informed. I think remembering your own self-confidence is the key to success with social media. Enjoy living in the moment and then if you like photos after, you can post them, but not living to post online.Â
Social Media is our way of life – it’s one way to communicate with our friends, but we also need to learn how to not let it change our reality. Personally, I’m limiting my usage by using app blockers and remembering that there’s nothing better than face to face communication!